My WH ended the affair almost three years ago (after being caught). I recently noticed his behavior and attitude toward me were changing and it felt very similar to when he was having the affair. I asked him about it. He said he was just under a lot of stress from work, father's cancer, change of career, us moving to a new state, etc. and that made sense. However, it kept nagging at me. So I thoroughly checked both his work and home e-mail accounts (he gives me access to whatever I want) and I found that he has been accused of sexual harassment at work.
It was January 2011 while he was deployed. He touched a woman's middle back twice while hugging her on New Year's Eve. It was investigated and dismissed and then reinvestigated and his career is over. He lied to me about why he wasn't promoted and lied when I asked him to fess up. It wasn't until I told him what I had found that he admitted the truth and said he didn't tell me because he was afraid he would lose me.
I asked him to tell me EVERYTHING I needed to know; no more lies/deceit, hiding the truth and he said he is currently under investigation, but doesn't know why cuz he won't cooperate this time. He says he was innocent the first time (he DID hug her under her shirt), and they blew it out of proportion. He cooperated fully and was burned (in his mind).
I thought he was done being stupid and now I wonder what else he's done and what else is out there? We have five children, I'm a stay-at-home mom and have been for 20 years. I'm thinking polygraph, but then what? What the heck should I do?