The 180 is really something for you if your WS is not showing signs of remorse or taking accountability for their actions.
Day 3 - WOW. You are doing good by finding yourself here and caring on how to help you WW.
Day 3 - I could barley get out of bed or shower.
Just take it slow. The magnitude of what has occurred will hit you at sometime.
I wouldn't worry about the 180 unless you need it. Never everyone has to apply it.
I would suggest that you both get into IC quickly. It is very commendable that you want to help her but you have your own hurt to deal with too. And she is going to have to help you heal as well.
It is a lot to digest. Please go to the Healing Library and have your wife goes as well. It is at least a start in understanding what is happening, what you can generally expect and how to best process going forward.
Have her start here:
You don't have to figure anything out right now. Just do your best to process the information.
Your asking questions is very normal. You need to know the WHO, the HOW, the WHERE, and most importantly the WHY. Your world has been turned up side down at your wife's hands. She has to take ownership of this.
She most likely is ashamed and scared as she should be. Don't let her emotions overshadow your own.
Good luck and know this is a good safe place to be. Sorry you had to find us.