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Had a pathetic moment today..... sometimes I miss companionship

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She11ybeanz posted 7/26/2013 12:16 PM

So.... the only human interaction I get is either work-related... or occurs within the 5 minutes before and after work when I pick up my daughter.... (excluding special events when I get to see friends on the weekends and stuff like that....which is not often at all)

I call my sister twice a day now during the 15 minutes that I pump at work and actually look forward to talking to a real adult for a little bit. she was too busy to talk and I had a weird moment. I hung up the phone....continued pumping....and broke into tears. I don't know if that was hormones or what... but sometimes its heartbreaking not having someone to talk to. My friends and family have busy lives....and I totally get that.

I think I miss companionship and the friendship I had with my XWH more than the sex or romantic crap. I don't mind being single for the most part.... but I still have my moments..

And, this was one of them.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 12:17 PM, July 26th (Friday)]

cmego posted 7/26/2013 12:23 PM

I get that Shelly, totally.

It has been over 2.5 years of being single now, and I think I miss the really small things more than anything. Having someone to talk to at night is one of them.

Hang in there!

She11ybeanz posted 7/26/2013 13:28 PM

Having someone to talk to at night is one of them.

This is how I feel. I don't so much miss the sex (maybe a little! But, I have B.O.B(s) for that ) or the romantic stuff.... but more someone to talk to regularly... cuddle with.... have dinner with.... etc. Like you said.....its the simple things I miss most..

She11ybeanz posted 7/26/2013 14:29 PM


[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 2:29 PM, July 26th (Friday)]

She11ybeanz posted 7/26/2013 14:29 PM doesn't help that a 67 year old man just sent me an email on the O.L.D site! REALLY???? He's 23 years older than me AND 2 years older than my DAD!!!!!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 2:29 PM, July 26th (Friday)]

ISPIFFD posted 7/26/2013 15:06 PM

I get it completely. I've been having such a hard time finding anyone to spend even a little time with, no friends, everyone's busy or has someone else to be with. I miss just having someone I can talk to where we both know each other and can just talk about stuff.

When XH moved out, that was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. And, honestly, 2 years later it ain't much better...


caregiver9000 posted 7/26/2013 15:16 PM

Oh, Shelly, it's not pathetic. It's human.


and "ick" on the 23 years older guy!! So you do still have perspecitve....

Confused1829 posted 7/26/2013 15:32 PM

Not pathetic at all!

That's what I miss most of all. Someone that knows my stories, and I know theirs, and we don't have to 'fill them in' from the beginning. They just KNOW us and love us entirely. That comfort and ease of being perfectly with someone and having a partner for the every day stuff. The every day giggles, the inside jokes, the knowing someone inside and out (which obviously I didn't really know them, but I digress). I love that. And miss that. It's normal.


better4me posted 7/26/2013 15:39 PM

God, I have been feeling this all day today too. I miss someone asking "how was your day" so dang much. I've got no advice, just know you've been heard and aren't alone in this. Guess we just gotta hang in there.

She11ybeanz posted 7/26/2013 15:57 PM

Thanks ya'll! It is nice to just hear from other people that I'm not alone in all this. Its Friday.....and after work I will be picking up my daughter and going home to my empty house. Part of me is dreading it.

tabitha95 posted 7/26/2013 16:46 PM

I feel that way too. I don't work with very many people, and they are all guys that I have nothing in common with to even be friends with.

I've moved around in my adult life that I have lost contact with so many people.

I feel lonely a lot. EX was my best friend before we got married. I've been so desperate to talk to someone, I've called him, which isn't the healthiest thing.

tabitha95 posted 7/26/2013 16:46 PM

Double Post

[This message edited by tabitha95 at 3:40 PM, July 27th (Saturday)]

homewrecked2011 posted 7/26/2013 17:16 PM

I find that when I don't have a "plan" for the day, that I get sad and miss having XWH around.

Whalers11 posted 7/26/2013 18:16 PM

I can't tell you how many nights I've crawled into bed lately with tears in my eyes. I have gotten incredibly desperate for male companionship.

I have some friends, but most of my interaction with other people comes from work. I get together with friends maybe 1 or 2 times a month, but I am starting to really miss having someone here when I come home from work, to eat dinner with, cuddle with, talk about our days, etc.

I haven't found a way around filling that void yet.

Bluebird26 posted 7/27/2013 07:44 AM

Shelly, it's human to need companionship. We all need that. I am sure it is terribly hard been a single parent to a baby. At least my kids are older and can have a conversation with me, (sometimes I crave peace & quiet too ).

Do you have any girlfriends you can hang out with or other mothers to get some interaction with adults? Have you thought about joining a mothers group or a meet up group for families?

gahurts posted 7/27/2013 11:26 AM doesn't help that a 67 year old man just sent me an email on the O.L.D site! REALLY???? He's 23 years older than me AND 2 years older than my DAD!!!!!

Hey Shelly... Not to be the math nazi but that dude is TWICE your age. That really is ick.

ETA: it's hardest when the baby is so young bit will get easier as she gets older and you start getting her involved in activities and play dates. Then you can become friends with the other parents.

[This message edited by gahurts at 11:29 AM, July 27th (Saturday)]

burnt_toast posted 7/27/2013 19:31 PM

Yep. There was this time about a year after D, I realized the old lady I was helping with crossing the street here and then was the only person to touch me.

Hang in there. This is not a permanent situation. Most situations aren't.

AgainandAgain posted 7/27/2013 23:42 PM

Awww I'm sorry you had a moment but it's not pathetic. You're a human being and it's normal to want companionship. Heck, I'm married and have moments like that all the time. My h will go days without hugging me because he works all the time and comes home and sleeps then back out to work. When he is up, he's grumpy or online. I don't have many friends so I come on her for companionship. Whether I sit and lurk or actually "speak" I still feel like I'm talking to someone

It won't be like this forever. You are too much of a catch to not make some guy lucky.

Edited because my typing looked like a small child typed it. Darn Apple and their autocorrect!

[This message edited by AgainandAgain at 8:15 AM, July 28th (Sunday)]

GrievingMommy posted 7/28/2013 18:38 PM

It seems like we're far from alone in feeling like this. I miss the intimacy but what I really miss is the day to day stuff. Sharing my daily life with someone.

I too get very little adult interaction. It's normally just me and my kiddos.

Hang in there Momma!

Feeling Consumed posted 7/28/2013 20:15 PM

I get like that often too and think that I miss not having anyone to talk to....then it dawns on me that the shithead never talked to me even before I kicked his ass out!

One time I was trying to tell him about something that happened at work and I could see he was not paying one bit of attention to what I was saying - he was watching tv and just saying "uh-huh" every now and then. Well, I thought I would do an experiment - I started saying how it got so hot at work that I decided to take all my clothes off and just work in the know what he said???? Uh-huh!!!! Seriously?!!

So when I start to miss having someone to talk to, I keep reminding myself that I've been missing that for the whole 27 years we were together!!

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