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Newest Member: Betrayedheart826 (61835)

User Topic: Why does it seem infidelity is everywhere?
♀ 39987
Member # 39987
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why is it that before you new your spouse cheated it was no big deal to see a movie or TV show where there were affairs or jokes about cheating? I never liked that those topics were portrayed but now it seems like I can't get away from it. It's part of our popular culture to cheat or at least flirt with the idea. Anyone else feel like it's hard to avoid triggers like these? There are even songs on the radio that I have to turn off!

Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's because you're hyper-sensitive to it now. It has always been around now it just seems like it's everywhere.

I noticed it before my initial D-day but now I notice it a lot more. Even in some of my favorite old classic rock songs. Depending on my mood I either change the channel or I'll purposely turn it up to see what he'll do

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
♀ 26465
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because it is.
I wish they would show the damage it does when living a life as a lie..

There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3225 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
♀ 38975
Member # 38975
Revenge  Posted: 12:36 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, it is hard to avoid triggers and the in your face reminders of infidelity.

I know that infidelity has been happening since biblical times, however, it still doesn't make it okay or hurt any less when it's landed at your doorstep.

I hate technology and the media for making it so easy (YES, I know my FWH chose to cheat... )

But it is so easy to hide behind text and emails. And the media acts like the latest infidelity is like reporting on the latest baseball scores.

Society has gotten so desensitized to it that it is "no big deal"

From Hollywood to Washington. It is the common place. If the President of the United States can get caught cheating and still leave office with one of the highest opinion polls....Lord have mercy.

The latest is this Anthony Weiner in NYC. I just wish his wife would have walked up to the microphone with the pretense of "supporting" him and turned around and smacked the shit out of him and address the press with "my attorney is in the process of drawing up divorce papers. NYC you deserve better and so do I".

It takes time but I trigger a lot less when these instances come up but it still makes me sick.

Thanks for letting me vent.


[This message edited by 1Faith at 12:39 PM, July 26th (Friday)]

Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for

Posts: 3409 | Registered: Apr 2013
♂ 38681
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is from time immemorial. We just are more aware since we are stung by the bug.

BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, yeah, Phoenix, the triggers and infidelity is everywhere.

I didn't even realize some of my most very favorite movies have some element of infidelity in it. When Harry Met Sally is one of my top 5 romantic comedies and I always kind of not paid much mind to the infidelity but after d-day the movie was a giant freaking trigger. (I can now watch it again!) Breakfast at Tiffany's is another.

Lots of crime TV shows (my favorite genre) have infidelity in it. Lots of murder because of adultery or betrayal of some kind.

I think it maybe kind of like the phenomenon of when you get a new car, suddenly you start noticing how many of those kind of cars there are, but you never really noticed before.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 13448 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Topic Posts: 6

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