SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

ceilingwalker posted 7/26/2013 14:33 PM

My wife has tested positive for HPV and says the doctor told her it is possible I gave it to her as there are no symptoms in men. After finding her in bed with another guy and suspecting that there are a few others that she wont admit to, I know why she has the HPV now, especially because I have had no other woman since we were married. I would think in 13 years if I had the HPV I would have some how known, right? She has had normal pap smears every year until two years ago where she said the HPV Virus was detected. What I would like to know is if I should be concerned about catching this disease? Thank you

tushnurse posted 7/26/2013 14:38 PM

To simply answer your question: Yes you should be concerned.
There is more to it than that though however. If you have more partners in your life other than your wife it is possible you have had since then. Frequently in men HPV is silent, until it rears is ugly head, and causes bad things, like oral cancers.
You need to be tested. The fact that she has cheated more recently, and that she was positive 2 years ago indicates that she probably picked it up someplace else, if she would have gotten it from you it most likely would have shown up sooner.

Please make an appointment with your Dr and go get tested. You need to know, so you can take care of you, and possibly any future partners you may have.

ceilingwalker posted 7/26/2013 15:11 PM

tushnurse, I have been with only one woman for the past 13 years, which is how long my wife and I have been together. That is how I know without question she didn't get it from me. I just didn't know how serious this is. My wife told me it doesn't affect men, only women and that it causes cervical cancer in later years.

Tearsoflove posted 7/26/2013 18:11 PM

ceilingwalker,

Your wife is wrong. HPV is a cause of throat, anal, and penile cancers in men. Men frequently have no symptoms until they begin developing cancer unless they happen to get a strain that causes warts. And it doesn't necessarily cause cervical cancer in later years. I know plenty of women in their early 20s who have had to have full hysterectomies because of HPV. And I got high-risk HPV from my husband's first affair and it resolved itself after about a year and a half without my developing cancer at all. I do get monitored for recurrence but it's been over 10 years now and I've come back normal every time since the initial abnormality. The 20 year old affair partner, however, was not so lucky.

Some people with strong immune systems can resolve the issue. Smoking and unhealthy habits appear to be a factor in HPV growing into cancer. I'm sure genetics may also play a part.

Look up the symptoms in men so you can watch for them, just in case.

[This message edited by Tearsoflove at 6:16 PM, July 26th (Friday)]

whattheh posted 7/26/2013 18:26 PM

I've tested positive for hpv and found out during a routine test done by my obgyn. They told me that their test determines if a person has hpv and then whether it is one of two hpv viruses which cause 70% of the hpv cancers.

Nurse also told me I will be tested in a year to see if my hpv has gone away. I don't have the two bad guys but that still means I might have one that causes 30% of cancers or one that just goes away. Those that go away tend to do so within 12 months or so?

I definitely got this from my fWH who got it from OW. HPV can be passed even when condoms are used (passed when genital areas touch). And yes my fWH has risks of cancer such as throat cancer if the hpv is one of the 30% kind.

doesitgetbetter posted 7/26/2013 20:20 PM

There was a WH whose BW was on here a few years ago. The WH was having horrible, painful, nasty problems with his boy parts. It was from HPV, he had a really severe case. Had to have surgeries, it was all blistered up and just nasty the way the BW described it. So to hear your WW (who is clearly a doctor ) say that you don't have to worry, that's an understatement.

Another other example of a man suffering from the results of HPV? Michael Douglas is dealing with throat cancer right now from HPV. I know there are many others, I just can't think of them right now. It's a big deal, and a REAL risk to men as well as women. Anytime you notice anything different about your throat or mouth, call your doctor and get it checked out.