heathen/christian - this is such a sad and awful fact of human/male/female B.S.
Men are so naturally visual it's degrading to women, period, it's just the simple truth. There is no way this is not degrading to women. Men's need for beauty is insatiable - that is why there is porn, strip joints, escorts, men's magazines...and women have the same desire, sort of - we are saturated with magazines and film where women are valued for their perfect bodies and perfect faces. And then we criticize women on how they look. Uggh - why do we do that??? We buy into the whole women's looks are the most important!!!
It is so sexist and degrading. The more valuable the woman is - is dependent upon her age and sexual parts - is she thin enough, is her a$$ good and hard enough, is her stomach flat, is her chest the right cup size, are her nipples just right (really!), are her legs cellulite free, does she have sun damage, is her hair sexy....on and on and on.
And then the world is filled up with fat men or men who are naturally bald (women must have sexy hair) and we are just supposed to be happy the fat men will stay with us or that they have a job and if they have a job that seems to be good enough now because after all they are amazing providers, because they have a job and since they bring home a pay check we should be super sexy and thin with perfect hair and makeup and long legs and perfect boobies and flat stomach and hard a$$es and clean the house and give great bjs and swing from chandiliers(sp), and bring home money and and and.
But hey, lose the weight and then I won't cheat on you.
I do admire any woman who just flips the finger to all that. Me, I hate being over weight and am working my tail off =not eating like I did, trying to fit in a work out. And yes my husband wants me to be 120 pounds also. It's the f'ing truth. He said a few months ago "...when you were good looking.." Yes, he was talking about when I fit into my size 4s and 6s.
He is a porn addict/sex addict and he loves the perfect size woman - 0 to 6. Any race - just as long as they are thin. I've come across this everywhere I speak with men. Just ONE TIME did I meet a very strange dude who had a girlfriend that was obese and he said he liked her being obese and made sure she ate enough to keep her gaining weight - of course that was him getting off on abusing her also.
Men are visual and it is degrading to women - to be valued so much because of your looks and not because of you being a good human. There is nothing we can do to change this. It is what it is. It is how they were created and it is how we are still raising them. I'm not going to apologize to any man or woman who thinks I'm wrong. I'm not. Men are visual. They love their less than perfect wives, of course, but they would prefer in general to have a wife with a really really good body and nice face with nice hair - whatever they determine that to be.
So if you can and want to - go ahead and become the dream size that the world so covets (except some place somewhere in Africa where fat women are more valued then thin). Or don't. And let him deal with it.
Is he a perfect size? If he is - shucks. You can't throw that in his face then. But if he isn't - throw it constantly, like I have. Hurt me with words - I'll cut you too. It does stop them, trust me. They don't realize they aren't gods, even though they said they know they aren't gods, but when you repeat it to them back to them, all of a sudden, when there is pain they seem to understand what they have been thinking and saying to you.
That saying boys will be boys - really, it is in them to be less mature than women in general regarding sensitivity and feelings and maturity. Of course, though, they have built the world and have given the world all the conveniences, etc. And they can pick up heavy stuff (haha). So, I'm not sh*tting on all men - I'm just stating the differences between the two sexes. Men will never know what it is like to be judged by looks predominantly. They will never know what it is like to feel second class in their need to stare and sexualize women. On and on. I'm just trying to state that he was wrong to cheat, he was wrong to say if you lose weight I won't cheat. But it is the truth that men are visual and look at women on a sexiness scale and for most men, thin is number one - not anorexic - but thin. They love thin - yet they want us to eat with them and go out for burgers..............
P.S. I have to also state that at least he told you of his desires of you to be thin and that is HUGE. I wish all husbands would do this. Just tell us what is really going on in that head - the big head - of yours and deal with the outcome. We will be hurt. We may call you sexist pigs. We may hurl all sorts of accusations at you and you may have to read posts like mine - but at least you are being true to yourself and being honest and that is a such an accomplishment and women really do need to hear the truth unless you are just crazy.
[This message edited by mychild at 3:38 PM, August 9th (Friday)]