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Newest Member: jpickup0824

Reconciliation :
The "new normal" sucks.

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 TryingEveryday (original poster new member #39429) posted at 1:01 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

Our R is going exactly the way it should. My wife is doing everything she can/should. Her efforts/love/patience/compassion are endless. She is remorseful and completely open. We've been through IC and MC. Seven months out now. And I gotta say, the new normal day-to-day life sucks. Up one minute, down the next. Triggers. Rollercoasters. I hate this. I know we're gonna get through it, but I seriously hate it.

Me - BS - 46
Her - WW - 38 (2 ONS)
Five kids:
DD20, DD18, DD17, DS16, DS16
D Day - Dec 24, 2012 -
R - 20 months and going extremely well.

posts: 39   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Montana
id 6423283
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somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 1:10 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

..

..i'm hearing you brother.. 4+ years out and there continues to be 'bad' days..

..not too many folks here who"DON'T" hate it..

..peace and prayers to you.

smy

trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!

posts: 6080   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Ontario Canada
id 6423295
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SadFlower ( member #37725) posted at 1:18 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

I also hate the roller coaster. At 11 months out, though, the ups are far more frequent than the downs. Hang in the, Trying--it sounds as though your FWW is doing everything possible. In time, your downs will become less frequent, too.

But I do get it--the triggers and the roller coaster are pretty awful.

Me: BW, age 71
Him: WH, age 70
Married 24 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA

posts: 497   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6423306
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AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 4:55 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

The roller coaster does suck. It does get better though.

Are there any new and fun things you can plan to do together to break up the day to day?

BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"

posts: 2859   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2012
id 6423531
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still-living ( member #30434) posted at 11:03 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

Like Chicho says, it gets better. It's like a diminishing sine wave, with some randomness, and it levels out lower than what you lived with before.

posts: 1822   ·   registered: Dec. 17th, 2010
id 6423638
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