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Topic: The "new normal" sucks.

TryingEveryday
♂ 39429
Member # 39429

Posted: 7:01 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013

Our R is going exactly the way it should. My wife is doing everything she can/should. Her efforts/love/patience/compassion are endless. She is remorseful and completely open. We've been through IC and MC. Seven months out now. And I gotta say, the new normal day-to-day life sucks. Up one minute, down the next. Triggers. Rollercoasters. I hate this. I know we're gonna get through it, but I seriously hate it.

Me - BS - 46
Her - WW - 38 (2 ONS)
Five kids:
DD20, DD18, DD17, DS16, DS16
D Day - Dec 24, 2012 -
R - 20 months and going extremely well.

Posts: 39 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Montana

somanyyears
♂ 26970
Member # 26970

Posted: 7:10 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013

..i'm hearing you brother.. 4+ years out and there continues to be 'bad' days..

..not too many folks here who"DON'T" hate it..

..peace and prayers to you.

smy

trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 69
Her 65
Married 44 yrs (together 48)
18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer !! I do believe in ghosts...

Posts: 4706 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Ontario Canada

SadFlower
♀ 37725
Member # 37725

Posted: 7:18 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013

I also hate the roller coaster. At 11 months out, though, the ups are far more frequent than the downs. Hang in the, Trying--it sounds as though your FWW is doing everything possible. In time, your downs will become less frequent, too.

But I do get it--the triggers and the roller coaster are pretty awful.

Me: BW, age 68
Him: WH, age 66
Married 21 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA

Posts: 496 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut

AFrayedKnot
♂ 36622
Member # 36622

Posted: 10:55 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013

The roller coaster does suck. It does get better though.

Are there any new and fun things you can plan to do together to break up the day to day?

BS 42
fWS 38 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DsD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2859 | Registered: Aug 2012

still-living
♂ 30434
Member # 30434

Posted: 5:03 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013

Like Chicho says, it gets better. It's like a diminishing sine wave, with some randomness, and it levels out lower than what you lived with before.

BH(me)47
WW 47 FOO Issues
DDay 11/09 Coworker
High School Sweethearts
Married 06/91
8 months TT
Sons 19 and 14
Recovery is constructing a pyramid of inference from which to see clearer.
The process involves using the reflexive loop.

Posts: 1283 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Ches

Topic Posts: 5

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