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Newest Member: ConfidentJayne (61852)

User Topic: The "new normal" sucks.
♂ 39429
Member # 39429
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our R is going exactly the way it should. My wife is doing everything she can/should. Her efforts/love/patience/compassion are endless. She is remorseful and completely open. We've been through IC and MC. Seven months out now. And I gotta say, the new normal day-to-day life sucks. Up one minute, down the next. Triggers. Rollercoasters. I hate this. I know we're gonna get through it, but I seriously hate it.

Me - BS - 46
Her - WW - 38 (2 ONS)
Five kids:
DD20, DD18, DD17, DS16, DS16
D Day - Dec 24, 2012 -
R - 20 months and going extremely well.

Posts: 39 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Montana
♂ 26970
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..i'm hearing you brother.. 4+ years out and there continues to be 'bad' days..

..not too many folks here who"DON'T" hate it..

..peace and prayers to you.


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 70
Her 66
Married 45 yrs (together 50 years!)
18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer.
. died from a brain tumor@57

Posts: 4980 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Ontario Canada
♀ 37725
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also hate the roller coaster. At 11 months out, though, the ups are far more frequent than the downs. Hang in the, Trying--it sounds as though your FWW is doing everything possible. In time, your downs will become less frequent, too.

But I do get it--the triggers and the roller coaster are pretty awful.

Me: BW, age 69
Him: WH, age 67
Married 22 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA

Posts: 497 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
♂ 36622
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The roller coaster does suck. It does get better though.

Are there any new and fun things you can plan to do together to break up the day to day?

BS 42
fWS 38 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2859 | Registered: Aug 2012
♂ 30434
Member # 30434
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like Chicho says, it gets better. It's like a diminishing sine wave, with some randomness, and it levels out lower than what you lived with before.

WW 47 FOO Issues
DDay 11/09 Coworker
High School Sweethearts
Married 06/91
8 months TT
Sons 19 and 14
Recovery is constructing a pyramid of inference from which to see clearer.
The process involves using the reflexive loop.

Posts: 1527 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Ches
Topic Posts: 5

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