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Im in a 25 yr marrage I would call very good. My WS got into webcam on internet. He is permanently disabled so he gets board. Initially I thought internet would help and get him social outlets. I am also 55 and fully menapausal. My libido died and untill, diagnosis sex became uncomfortable. I am now being treated for vaginal atrophy. Intercourse is better. So I am willing to understand how it started. I let him know I am not "OK" with the internet activities and he didn't take me seriously. So when I found more evidence including him saying things like wish we could meet. Etc. I confronted him and he said it is part of the "game" its only on the computer. Now I'm obsesseing over what is really going on. We began councling it is helping. Now he has removed the unknown women from yahoo but I am suspicious as to weather he really stoped. I hate being suspicious I hate not trusting him, I know it will take time. Short of installing a Spy cam how do I deal with this issue and save my sanity and marriage.

You install the spy cam!

I think this is the central question we all grapple with in the beginning. We want reassurance and we want to have the trust back. But the trust needs to be earned back and that takes time. You need to set some boundaries-things he can and cannot do. Things that he has to prove to you. Things that need to happen for you to heal.
Check out the healing library-there is a wealth of info there. Also, you may want to read the book "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. It talks a lot about the internet and EA that can develop there.
*hugs*

I'm also struggling after finding out my husband paid to have webcam sex with another woman. It seriously disgusts me and even though I've tried to move on and let it go, I can't. Especially when I find $1,000 hidden in his closet like I did today. Makes me super suspicious that he's buying prepaid credit cards so it won't show up on our account. I'm so tempted to call him out on it, but I've decided to try and hold my tongue while I collect more information via a keylogger. Plus my husband gets it almost every night so there's NO reason why he should need anything more.