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salty_lt2 posted 7/26/2013 21:11 PM

I shattered her world, destroyed everything she thought she knew about us, and left her reeling on our D-Day.

I had this huge text document that I've been working on and editing over the past 1.5 weeks to prepare for this day, and I was going to simply cut-and-paste it to SI today. It was a series of things that I've learned along the way in our healing, and things that I was looking forward to doing. I've decided that doing it in that manner really isn't in the SI "spirit," however. I'll keep it on my computer, anyway, and look over it as time goes on to judge how I continue to grow. Y'all didn't want to read that seedy novel, anyway.

My BW and I are in a good spot, actually. Better than I could have ever hoped. We have better communication with each other now, and I've grown up a lot over the past 2 years. Obviously, I wish my A wasn't the driving force behind my personal growth, but it would be far worse if I didn't use this pain to make that growth happen.

We both now understand that there are negative things in our past and present relationship that we have to take ownership of, and that we didn't treat each other with loving actions over most of our relationship. It makes a world of difference to be both IN love with your spouse, and to show them REAL loving actions at the same time.

I'm upset with myself that I'll always be a "cheater," but I will not let MY poor decision define me, or my family.

I think I'm going to sit back, watch some TV with my BW, and drink some Korean rice wine. We've got a lovely night ahead of us.

I'll keep reading, so y'all keep posting.

BaxtersBFF posted 7/26/2013 21:41 PM

Sounds like things are good.