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I live in SC, so your state probably isn't as conservative as mine, but I wanted to put this link up as a guide for everyone. It is the standard child visitation/restraining orders for our state. I hope it helps anyone as you muddle thru deciding what "rules" you want in your D.

http://www.atkinssc.com/resourcefiles/STANDARDVISITATION.pdf

Thank God in my state it says the children cannot have overnights with XWS and his girlfriend. They did spend the night w/ kids there, and all it took was 1 email threatening court action and they stopped it. (For now, I suspect).

Also, the holiday most people forget about is Halloween. If you want to be involved in this holiday, be sure to have it in your papers that you rotate Halloween "trick or treating" or you share the event, whatever works for you.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 7:29 AM, July 27th (Saturday)]

Thank God is states in the standard orders that OW cannot stay the night with children there. I just had it enforced.

I am still working on trying to get this into the papers.

I have panic attacks at the thought of OW being around DD and new baby and simply cannot fathom it. Nearly ExH threatens in a jovial way that "someday" they will meet and I hope I am on another planet when it happens.

One other minor holiday we hassled about was Easter, also. I am not overly religious but like to know the symbolism behind holidays and nearly ExH doesn't care, so I asked for that time.

A hard thing for me, just for chat, was the idea of every other year for DD's birthday. I couldn't handle being separated from her on her birthday right now, even if it's selfish. This was a really hard thing to do, especially with things so far ahead and unknown.

Here it's 1/2 day of the birthday with each parent, I think...

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 12:21 AM, July 29th (Monday)]

This is pissing me off. The custody guidelines we're working with don't allow me to be with the kids every other year for their birthdays. That pisses me off. Birthdays are a big deal to me. STBX didn't even want the kids, he wanted me to abort. Now I have to share their birthdays. And I don't get a courtesy couple of hours with them, I just plain ol' don't get them at all.

And it pisses me off that I, the religious parent, don't get to have my kids for religious holidays. It pisses me off that my children's religious training/experiences (church, Sunday School) is going to be cut in half so sex pervert daddy can have them.

((Nature Girl)) I hear you.