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LA44 posted 7/27/2013 09:54 AM

So if you have been following our story, we just told my parents while we were there on vacay. I am glad we did. H is glad we did. They hugged both of us after H told the story/Dad was unsettled as the days went on (processing). After me, my parents were next in line in terms of being deceived.

Dad called H yesterday on his cell. When it was over, my H sat on the stairs and started to cry. I hugged him and told him it would be okay. I didn't know what Dad said but I knew it wasn't mean-spirited bc he is not like that.

Anyway, between tears he said, "Your Dad is such a wonderful person."

He then expressed a bigger thought: "This man is in his mid-70's. He just wants to know that his daughter and his grandsons are going to be okay. That the next patriarch is going to be there for them." He said, "I never thought of it this way before but it brings yet another element to what I almost ruined." Dad also told him that he believes in us.

I called my dad to say thanks to him and my mom for being supportive w/o giving lectures.

I was so afraid of telling my parents but so happy we did for what they can give us. They have the most life experience, they are level-headed, forgiving people and they see the big picture.

LA

painpaingoaway posted 7/27/2013 09:59 AM

Wow, that was beautiful.

Your Dad sounds like a very very wise man. You are blessed to have him.

I hope your H takes what your Dad said to heart.

LA44 posted 7/27/2013 10:13 AM

Dad is wise ppga! Dad has this way when he talks. He has been sober for 35 years now so he is very good at getting to the heart in a very simple but meaningful way. Whenever I have heard him speak at AA meetings it brings tears to my eyes. He sees the good in people and thank goodness someone saw that in him and helped him start his journey as a sober man.

I have not seen my H just plant himself and cry like that in a while and was glad he stayed in the moment. I feel as if my H is on his way to his own type of sobriety.

PrincessPeach06 posted 7/27/2013 10:15 AM

My dad has had my H in tears several times since Dday. His own dad refuses to talk to him yet mine who has every right to hate him constantly tells him he loves him and believes in him.

painpaingoaway posted 7/27/2013 10:15 AM

I feel as if my H is on his way to his own type of sobriety.

I have posted this before, but thought you and your H might like it:

unfound posted 7/27/2013 10:16 AM

wifehad5 posted 7/27/2013 10:21 AM

Your Dad is a Good Man

LA44 posted 7/27/2013 11:40 AM

Thanks PPGA! I remember a Winston Churchill quote too:

You make a living by what you get. You make a life but what you give.

PrincessPeach: That is so sad that your FIL won't speak to his son. Your FIL might want to tend to his issues and not use the A as a way to disconnect from his own child. Sad.

[This message edited by LA44 at 11:40 AM, July 27th (Saturday)]

PrincessPeach06 posted 7/27/2013 11:53 AM

LA44 - my FIL had an A and left his family behind for his new wife. Not only did it totally screw up my H but I truly think he has never ever faced his own responsibility with what happened. I am very much like my own father and H has cried many times over the fact that both my dad and myself have shown him unconditional love when no one else would. I just feel my dad taught me what love is and how to be the best person I can be while his dad taught him nothing. :(

LA44 posted 7/27/2013 11:55 AM

Your H is a blessed man to have you and your Dad standing with him PP06.

HardenMyHeart posted 7/27/2013 20:50 PM

jo2love posted 7/27/2013 21:34 PM

Your dad is an amazing man. It sounds like your H took it to heart and has a new perspective on how to look at R.

knightsbff posted 7/27/2013 21:36 PM

Wow... I'm so happy for you and your WH to have such great support. It's wonderful that you are able to shares joys and sorrows with those that mean the most to you.

tired girl posted 7/28/2013 08:42 AM

LA,

So happy to hear about this with your H. Often times it is hearing something from someone we respect that has the most impact of all. I am glad to hear you guys are doing better.