SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

pjkmkjm23 posted 7/27/2013 20:08 PM

I just had to share this

I was out shopping with the kids yesterday and being that we live in a very small town we can't help running into people who know us or know of us. A lady stopped in the aisle to say hello to the kids and I and of course DD6, as usual, started to excitedly tell her all our plans for the day/evening, "we're going to have a campfire tonight", "we're getting marshmallows because we're gonna make 's'more's'", "daddy is gonna let me cook my own marshmallow tonight", etc. etc. etc. (y'all know how a child that age can talk anyone's ear off lol!)!

Well the lady replied that she was happy to hear all this and then asked "are you having a good VISIT with your Dad?".

DD6 immediately looked at her kind of perplexed and then replied "Visit? I LIVE with my Daddy!" and then DS12 even piped up "ya we're not visiting Dad"!

I have never talked with the kids about this but have wondered sometimes what they think...do they feel they have 2 homes now (since I agreed to my ex's request for temp sharing about 9 months ago now. We've been almost 50/50 since then but I have them a couple overnights more than ex does), do they still consider my home their primary home (it was before DDay), what do they say when someone asks them where they live; does that answer change depending upon if a parent is with them and if so, which one, etc.???

Anyways....I was so proud of my kids and right or wrong...it did make me feel glad to hear them respond that way!

Kajem posted 7/27/2013 20:21 PM

Their old enough to know there address, which one do they use? That is where they live. At least that is the case with mine. XH and I had 50/50 for the last few years. My home is their primary residence, his home is their second home.

Sometimes it is pretty simple. It could be that they live with you when they live with you.

SBB posted 7/27/2013 22:14 PM

Love this. What a clever little 6 year old.

I guess people do make assumptions because 50/50 has only been the norm for the last few years.

I have 50/50 and my girls are only now a year out starting to say 'home'. For a long time there it was "Mummy's house" or 'your house' and 'Daddy's house" and it just killed me that they didn't feel like they had a home.

I understand why this makes you feel good.

Pass posted 7/28/2013 00:39 AM

The Princess is a teacher, and often hears students say, "I'm going to my Dad's/Mom's this weekend".

So we started right at the beginning referring to our places as the "Country home" and the "City home". So our kids have two homes.

I know it's just semantics, but it feels better - and more accurate - to me.