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Iím finally ready to say Iím done.

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kernel posted 7/27/2013 21:29 PM

Iíve been divorced for nearly 3 years, and it's 3 Ĺ years past Dday. I have FINALLY gotten to the point where I am willing to say, and write on this forum, that I am DONE. By DONE, I mean I finally know that if my X came crawling back all remorseful and willing to see a counselor and swearing to do right by me, I would turn him away. I think I would be sad, and maybe even a little angry at the waste, but not remotely tempted to consider it.

For the first two years after Dday, I would have welcomed it and committed to trying R. For the third year, I mostly thought I wouldnít try R, but I wasnít absolutely sure. I wouldnít put it in writing or put it on this board because I wasnít deep-in-my-gut sure.

Today, I saw Phantomlimbís thread asking about a remorseless WS making the big turnaround and it being too late. And you know what? It IS too late. Iím finally DONE. I know that I would not be willing to do the damn hard work of R with him. I would rather put that work into MY new life, not trying to fix his. If and when I am in another serious relationship, I will be all in to the nth degree. But it will never be with X. And that is a really good place to finally be. DONE.

FaithFool posted 7/27/2013 21:47 PM

Timeline sounds about right. I cycled through bargaining for most of years 3 and 4.

Acceptance is such a gift.

better4me posted 7/27/2013 23:32 PM

Yep, when you know, you just know!

cmego posted 7/28/2013 07:48 AM

I knew the moment I separated I was done.

We did false R for 7 months...I would have gladly have tried to really make it work. But, I told him that if we S, I was D.O.N.E.


I think it is great to know that now your life only moves in one direction, and that is forward.

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