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Newest Member: timeheals (61501)

User Topic: I’m finally ready to say I’m done.
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I’ve been divorced for nearly 3 years, and it's 3 ½ years past Dday. I have FINALLY gotten to the point where I am willing to say, and write on this forum, that I am DONE. By DONE, I mean I finally know that if my X came crawling back all remorseful and willing to see a counselor and swearing to do right by me, I would turn him away. I think I would be sad, and maybe even a little angry at the waste, but not remotely tempted to consider it.

For the first two years after Dday, I would have welcomed it and committed to trying R. For the third year, I mostly thought I wouldn’t try R, but I wasn’t absolutely sure. I wouldn’t put it in writing or put it on this board because I wasn’t deep-in-my-gut sure.

Today, I saw Phantomlimb’s thread asking about a remorseless WS making the big turnaround and it being too late. And you know what? It IS too late. I’m finally DONE. I know that I would not be willing to do the damn hard work of R with him. I would rather put that work into MY new life, not trying to fix his. If and when I am in another serious relationship, I will be all in to the nth degree. But it will never be with X. And that is a really good place to finally be. DONE.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Timeline sounds about right. I cycled through bargaining for most of years 3 and 4.

Acceptance is such a gift.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 20700 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, when you know, you just know!

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:54

Posts: 4130 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew the moment I separated I was done.

We did false R for 7 months...I would have gladly have tried to really make it work. But, I told him that if we S, I was D.O.N.E.


I think it is great to know that now your life only moves in one direction, and that is forward.

me...BS, 46 years old.

Posts: 4738 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Topic Posts: 4

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