I'm glad you found SI, pissed630; I hope you'll be able to get some good help and support here.
I second Chicho's suggestions. In addition to reading in The Healing Library, I found reading posts & responses in the Just Found Out & General forums very beneficial when I was at the start of this unwanted journey.
Is or has your WH been in individual therapy? I feel every WS can benefit from IC to determine the root of their aberrant behavior (the "why" of their cheating); from an armchair psychologist's perspective, it sounds like your WH would have a little more material to work with relative to issues with women, needing female approval/validation, etc. The suicide attempt further underscores this. Reliving maternal rejection/abandonment? You're right; his behavior goes pretty deep. For that reason, I wouldn't even consider R for a nanosecond without him doing some serious work with a therapist. MC at this point would be putting a light coating of spray paint over a severely rusted car...any improvement would be unlikely to hold up over time.
Ultimately, there's danger to overanalyzing his behavior, because at this point it comes down to he cheated. You're correct when you say it's a cop-out for him to say "he doesn't blame me one bit BUT says me nagging him or continously bringing up the past pushes him towards cheating". It's called blame-shifting and if ws's can be said to have certain traits in common, that's got to be on the short list!
If you're not getting IC yourself, that may also be helpful to you in processing all this and moving forward from here.
You'll get through this even though it may not feel likely at this point in time.
[This message edited by sad12008 at 10:37 AM, July 28th (Sunday)]