A NC letter was sent about a month after we decided to reconcile. I found this site and then discovered that he had been in constant contact with OW over that month of reconciliation.
So, since WH has consistently broken NC after sending a NC letter, should he send another letter? I think it would just be laughed at.
Right now, I do not believe there has been any contact for a little over a week and he tells me that OW has not tried to contact him. I believe she is just biding her time because every other time WH has broken NC anyway. I suspect she's figured out that I have found out about the contact since she has deleted her Twitter account that she used to contact WH.
However, OW may try to contact WH when I inform her BS about the continued contact. I was going to send her BS an email on Friday after my WH was done of work but my WH came home from work early. I want to do it on a Friday so OW will not be able to contact WH while he is at work and we would have the weekend to discuss it. Now I need to wait until next Friday. I want her world to be completely blown apart!
I kind of want another NC letter written for my sake but not if it is just going to be laughed at and broken again.
Im so sorry. This has to be so painful.
I don't think you should email her BH though. She knows you know about the continued contact,so she is watching her BH's accounts,waiting to intercept your email/message. Call him and tell him,so you know he knows. Hopefully with both of you aware,it will stop it from going underground again.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
I am kind of wary of emailing the BS as well but I don't think I could speak to him on the phone without breaking down. I was going to ask that he phone me back and leave a voicemail that he received the message.
I'm not sure I will recover from this betrayal.
I would be very cautious moving forward here in Reconciliation. If you decide to move forward, then I would make some serious demands for you to have greater security - post-nuptual agreement, moving assets into your name, etc.
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid
So at no point has the A ended, correct?
Yes, hurtbs, that is true. Although I have just been calling it broken NC, I see it now for what it is. The EA has been continuing all this time. I think calling it broken NC was a way to help myself minimize and continue moving forward because I don't see any other way for me.
As for making demands for my security, we don't really have any assets or money. We would have to sell the house and we would be lucky to just break even on it. More debt than anything else.
I called the one BS there was but there was a language barrier, so I had a friend call who spoke Spanish with a copy of what I wanted him to know.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
You do realize that the problem is your WS, right? He's blowing smoke, and there's no way a second NC letter will do anything. I'm so sorry.
Inform the other BS, go 180 hard, and spend your energy on you and your wellbeing, and figuring out what else you need if you're even thinking of giving your WS a shot at R.
Please protect your self respect and your self esteem.
In JFO, there's a post called "20/20 Hindsight, what I wish I'd done when I Just Found Out",
Read it, and read it again.
As hard as it is, your WS is still actively in an affair, it hasn't ended.
You've spent six months waiting for him, under the impression that he's NC, but he's not.
Please read and implement the 180, get yourself stronger quickly, so that you can make smart and informed decisions for yourself and your future.
You can't wait for him to give her up, because he's not going to as things stand.
If you have a chance to R, his affair has to end first. He can continue with her, but not as your husband. He has yet to realize this.
Hugs honey, stay strong.
Two weeks ago, WH called the OW on speakerphone to tell her that it was over. He says that it was really helpful for him to tell her about NC over the phone, and I was glad that I was able to hear it as well. Unfortunately, with all the TT coming out over the past few days, I don't think it will be enough to save our marriage, but hearing the phone call helped for the moment. Would he be willing to call, with you there?
[This message edited by RedRose at 3:55 PM, July 28th (Sunday)]