I read a post in the Wayward forum last week that I could have very easily written myself. I SO related to what the FWW was writing...about how she didn't know how to change the road her and her BH were on after 2.5 years. We are at 3.5 years out. I can't get my BH to heal...HE has to take a first step at some point to work on that and hopefully eventually our M.
So there was a distance between us again yesterday, so this morning I asked him if anything had happened and if there was anything I could do. He of course said no.
THIS IS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO READ THAT THREAD IN WAYWARD. He was TRULY listening as he was reading!!!...I Saw a light go on for him. I don't know how long it will last...but it did happen and it is a HUGE step. We both cried for a while and then we went up to our room to lay together...it was then that he said I LOVE YOU...I started sobbing uncontrollably...and then so did he again...He hasn't said I love you in over a year, and when he would say it before that it was in response to me...or because he felt obligated to say it. He then explained that he had been afraid to say it because he couldn't believe someone he loved SO much could hurt him like this...so he couldn't bring himself to say those words anymore. We were both crying SO hard. I told him I was sorry and I would never betray his heart, him or myself ever again.
All I can say is that today is an AWESOME day...and I hope the start of a new chapter. Thank you SI, for being here for me. It is amazing how all the wonderful members here share their heartbreak SO freely and how much all the words and advice helps.
[This message edited by RSEB at 3:53 PM, July 28th (Sunday)]