I have been working the 180 plan to the max, very little contact via text and nothing in person. All texts have been friendly and upbeat (following the 180)
She text me a few moments ago and wants me to bring our dogs to her sister's house so she can spend time with them on her days off (she is a EMT and works shifts). She offered to come pick them up when I go to work tomorrow so I would not be home. I went ahead and told her I would bring the dogs to her for a couple of days and offered to eat dinner with her so we can discuss our household budget.
I know that a "date" is a violation of the 180 principle, and I know for a fact that she is still "in the fog". If we do wind up having dinner, what are some suggestions???????????????
HELP !!!. I am nervous, scared, and sad all at the same time right now.
My immediately thought is to have the dinner with her, but NO discussion of our marriage, or the separation, or anything while she is still in this divorce "fog". Right now I plan to keep it light, ask her about her workweek, tell her about mine and get through the meeting.
Any suggestions ???
WA- June 2011 Separated Aug 2011 Counseling- Oct 2011 Reconciled- Dec 2011 Cont'd Counseling Jan-Jun 2012 Separated- Jul 2013
D-Day: 12/21/2011 Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
[This message edited by ifinallyfoundme at 4:55 PM, July 28th (Sunday)]
anything while she is still in this divorce "fog" Is she seeing anyone? You have to know sis is cheering her on to divorce court. That's tough, right now the only connection you have are the dogs. Why did you stop MC? Are your problems related to your unborn babies?
Is she seeing anyone? You have to know sis is cheering her on to divorce court. That's tough, right now the only connection you have are the dogs.
Why did you stop MC? Are your problems related to your unborn babies?
No affair that I can confirm, the normal affair signs were not there.
Just walked in one day and said "I am tired of being unhappy and I want a divorce, I am not in love with you anymore" and moved to her sisters house 2 miles away.
We had no contact at all, of any kind, for two weeks. Then last week she kept wanting to see our dogs. Tonight I took them to her (she works odd hours and is off Mon and Tue) to wit she agreed to bring them back on Wednesday (we'll see)
Meeting for dinner tonight was the first face to face since she left. I went OUT OF MY WAY to make sure we did not talk about "us" and instead kept our conversations about work and friendly things. I don't want to push her away.
Ended it well, walked her out. I think we both choked up when we hugged, but I maintained myself and so did she.
I know this violates the 180 principles, but at least I kept it friendly and without self-pity. Just tried to keep it as normal and consistent as possible.
ohforthree
