Just a thought, but I'm curious if any of you folks ever felt or did any of the above. I was a busy parent raising my kids I felt much of the time by myself while my spouse had a LTA. Eventually when things slowed down and I focused on the M more the A was exposed. We separated I worked through my emotions while my spouse continued his LTA -long distance. Through this process I of taking care of a home and all the responsibilities I found strength and enjoyment in my independence, being alone.
Well the shine started to fade on the LTA once it came to light and it seems the AP wasn't all that great and couldn't fill the void of my portion of the life we had built together.
To be honest after the effects of the drama-it's still there- started to fade I'm having a blast.
I say this all because when we initially find out the shock sometimes makes us appear desperate, when all we are trying to do is save our marriages. There really isn't much you can do until your spouse comes out of that fog. For me working on myself mentally and physically while he was in wonderland made me stronger and a more desirable mate for not only my spouse but other potential suitors.
Actions speak louder than words on the BS part as well. I'm still a work in progress, we are still working on it.
Have any of you folks acted aloof, or unavailable while WS was in lala land? I mean I make sure to look extra special and smell really good when we are out together, and it's interesting to see his expression when others openly flirt....I'm not wearing my rings.
Just trying to learn this dance all over again.
[This message edited by ifinallyfoundme at 4:45 PM, July 28th (Sunday)]