Really? I think he was using his tears to manipulate you into stop talking about what he did..or might do. He has not been remorseful..not really..he says he is..it lasts a few days..then you trigger or try to talk about it and he gets mad,throws a fit,etc,etc.
I think this is just a new tactic. He has told you to get over it. He has insisted this be rugswept..and all the while still sees the OW at work...which is causing your healing to slow..throw in his attitude and of course you are sad,angry,and you don't trust him.
How many times have you cried since dday?
Also..notice his tears were all about him...you're hurting his feeling by not being over his affair..and taking little digs at him. Hmm. I wonder if those little digs are the result of having kept quiet for too long and having to hold your feelings in? WS's like to rugsweep..but that will cause anger and pain to spill out of a BS in an unhealthy way..like little digs. You feel like you're going to explode..but you can't talk to him about it..so it comes out in other ways.
he is trying? What is he doing? Is he supportive? Understanding? Does he help you through your triggers? Doe he own his shit? Has he answered all of your questions? Is he honest at all times? Is he even trying to find another job since working anywhere near OW is a craptastic plan? HOW is he trying?
No..tears are NOT a sign of remorse. Tears can be very selfish. And manipulative. Actions..over time..consistent actions..that is proof of true remorse.
I think he threw a pity party for himself. Don't fall for it.
[This message edited by confused615 at 8:19 AM, July 29th (Monday)]
M: June 2001
Status: Reconciled. Love my "new" husband!
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.