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Finally asking for help

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risingfromashes posted 7/28/2013 20:23 PM

What does this entail? I have handled most of the hailstorm by myself. I cannot get out of this house without help. Do I email my family and friends? Overwhelmed!!

I can no longer pay to get some help. The ex is useless.

I am falling on the sword.
How does one beg for help without looking pathetic?

hurtfornow posted 7/28/2013 20:36 PM

One of the hardest pills to swallow is, PRIDE. But you are going to have to swallow your pride. It was one of the hardest parts of going through the divorce.

But I learned who my real friends and family are. Hang in there. It gets better, I promise. (((risingfromashes))).

h0peless posted 7/28/2013 20:45 PM

Just ask. My mom, her husband and my brother were happy to help. I was financially able to do something nice for my Mom/husband and will probably do something to thank my brother too but really, they are family and I just had to ask.

gma56 posted 7/28/2013 20:51 PM

I don't know what your parent's financials look like but my Aunt and Uncle helped my cousin years ago after her second divorce.
She wanted to go back to school, work part-time, and she had two young kids.

Even with all her grants and low interest loans, she barely was making it.

My Aunt and Uncle gave her some of her inheritance over a five year period. her two sisters know that she will get less than them after the parents die.
It wasn't a huge amount but enough to make a difference. Cousin didn't have to repay since it was going to be her inheritance.

It doesn't hurt to ask for help to move forward.
I know I would help my kids anyway I could.

My DD was a single Mom with no help from GS's biodad. I babysat full time for 8 yrs for her. She provided extra food and the diapers. She was able to buy a much better car and her own condo. I'm so happy I was in a position to help back then. That's what my family does for each other.

better4me posted 7/28/2013 20:54 PM

If the shoe was on the other foot would you think the person asking you for help was "pathetic"? Probably not, right? You aren't either. We all, every last one of us, needs help at some time. Ask. People do like to help, they really do...

nutmegkitty posted 7/28/2013 20:59 PM

What kind of help do you need? Practically speaking?

SBB posted 7/28/2013 21:12 PM

It's not begging - it's asking, reaching out.

I did a lot on my own for those first few months. When I finally did reach out everyone was so thrilled that I was finally open to the help they all so desperately wanted to give.

You may find yourself in the same boat.

I'd talk to them and ask them of they could help you move as you are doing it yourself. People are far more willing/understanding than we give them credit for.

risingfromashes posted 7/28/2013 21:12 PM

I keep packing and then find more that I have to pack. I am downsizing to less than half the space. I am supposed to keep the lawn pristine. If only it would stop raining followed by sunshine! The weeds are thriving
Just don't tell me to make the EX step up...If that could work I might still be married to the SOB.

nutmegkitty posted 7/29/2013 09:19 AM

Packing really is a dreadful task. I had to ask for help with that too, and you know what? People said yes.

When do you move?

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