Hello everyone, it's been a while!
In the past couple of months, a lot of things have changed, reversed, and developed.
I think that the last time I posted, I was checking in from the west coast, while I was visiting my sister and family when she was so sick. I am so glad that I got to see her and say goodbye for now (the way I look at it). I'm also glad I was able to be there for my mom during that horrible time for her. My sister died a week after I got home (east coast).
Driving across the country was the best thing I could have done for myself. It was never boring or lonely. It was exhilarating, exactly how I thought it would be. I've wanted to do it for a very long time. On the way back east, I really didn't want to come back, I wanted to keep going, anywhere, but of course I would have run out of money!
I started planning a "working" road trip, and I am in the process of making it happen.
Here is the real reason for my post. On the same day that my sister died, Saz told me that adoption services had found our daughter who we gave up for adoption almost 25 years ago. She lives on the west coast (same city as my mom, and yes, I was blocks from her house!), and she was interested in getting more information from/about us.
That was 2 weeks ago tomorrow. We have had daily contact for over a week. She is pretty much exactly like me, right down to loving solo road trips. She is beautiful, inside and out. Our son lives close to her, is working in a remote area atm, and will meet her in a week. My mom is meeting her today.
My mom was so devastated by my sister's death. She is so happy to be meeting her grand daughter.
I have rerouted my upcoming road trip back to the west coast again! I cannot wait to meet her, but I am enjoying getting to know her from a distance for a while. I think it's good for both of us to ease into.
There are so many coincidences going on that they're becoming almost funny and expected. Her bf has the same name as my son, and looks just like Saz. Wed will literally be 25 years to the day that I found the letters that spelled out what lead to the whole thing happening.
I am quitting smoking on that day. :) It was the day I started smoking.
I have been living in my own apt for a few months.
Saz and I are learning how to be friends. We were/are both so excited to be getting to know her. It's impossible to not share it together on some level.
But as a husband, I have lost so much respect for him and have zero attraction to him. I have compassion because he is a human being, and I know he hurts.
It has been a crazy, sad, exciting, and everything in-between couple of months.
It's nice getting blindsided - by something good!
Thank you SI. I wanted to share because you have helped me so much.