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This Day Is Tainted Maybe Forever

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petite71 posted 7/29/2013 08:43 AM

Does anyone have a special day that is now tainted forever?
My H had sex with OW the day after his Bday. I use to love to go out buy him his favorite dessert,gift,card,& invite my parents. Last year didn't do any of that & bought him a .50 card. I triggered one his Bday & the next day.

TXBW68 posted 7/29/2013 08:50 AM

My husband left me 2 days before my birthday last year. Needless to say, my day was awful! He even gave me a card, signed "Love, H". He chatted with me on FB that night to let me know that he was thinking about me. Really? Then why the hell did you leave?

This year we were back together. He did his best to make the day good. He gave me a new wedding band. Even got down on one knee in front of the kids.

I loved the gesture. But all I was thinking about was - you left me on my birthday last year.

I hope that over the next couple of years my day won't trigger me so much.

ETA: correct typos

[This message edited by TXBW68 at 9:43 AM, July 29th (Monday)]

WoundedOpus posted 7/29/2013 08:51 AM

Sorry, it is so hard since you can't stop the calendar, that day comes every damn year no matter how much you wish it wouldn't.

For me it's Valentine's Day. MCOW screwed up and called 2 nights before outside of their' 'OKed' calling schedule. I confronted him on the way home from our Valentine's dinner...I will forever hate that Hallmark Holiday!

((((Petite71))))

petite71 posted 7/29/2013 09:01 AM

They were SOoo selfish!!!
(((HUGS))) To all of you that have tainted special days too. I am going to workout so I can feel better. So happy to have SI,so I can chat with people that can relate to my long journey to recovery.

confused615 posted 7/29/2013 09:04 AM

My dday was 2 days after my birthday,and 2 days before our little girl's birthday. And 6 days before her first day of kindergarten. So birthdays and back to school time always triggers me.

myperfectlife posted 7/29/2013 09:05 AM

Um yeah.
XWWH#1 and I shared a birthday.
He broke up with me once on Christmas Eve.
I found out he cheated on me on Valentine's Day.
My CURRENT WWH spent our anniversary evening with his OW at a theater show (and my son).
He told me he wanted a divorce on April Fools day.
And on Father's day he took OW to our other' sons play.
4th of July he begged me back and swore he was done with her and wanted our marriage to work.
I don't have much use for holidays anymore.

Rainbows posted 7/29/2013 09:08 AM

Yup, my anniversary.

He told me he had to go to the office after after making dinner and exchanging presents. We had just returned from a trip where we renewed our vows the day before. He must have really missed her while we were away, I guess.

The once happiest day of my life is forever going to be tarnished.

callmecrazy posted 7/29/2013 09:09 AM

Our DS 1st b-day. I found the texts right after he'd sent me to his family to tell them there was no A and I'd made a mistake letting them know he was staying at OW house and that in the future our matters would be private...what a emotionally bullied mess I was. My grandfather had also died in the middle of the night the night b4 and the day before an older guy that had taught me so much at work also passed away.

AFrayedKnot posted 7/29/2013 09:10 AM

Yea, I had a lot of those days. DS birthday, my birthday, fWS birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving have all been tainted by some aspect of this A.

Last year during our first A-season we made a real effort to reclaim those days. We did things to focus on us and our family. We created new memories and some new traditions.

I will be honest, her birthday was the one I was least enthusiastic about reclaiming. I wasn't into it at all.

(((Petite71)))

Opheliapain posted 7/29/2013 09:10 AM

My FWH broke up with the first OW he had sex with on our anniversary. Nice guy huh? And he did it by using part of a love note he wrote to me while we were dating.

sueaug posted 7/29/2013 09:12 AM

My birthday - OW has the same one. Never met anyone with the same birthday. It's coming up in the next week, so don't know how to deal with it

[This message edited by sueaug at 9:13 AM, July 29th (Monday)]

Mack9512 posted 7/29/2013 09:14 AM

My birthday last year was horrible. We were supposed to be in "R" but he decided to go see the MOW after work, which made him late. I let our DD decide where to go and she wanted pizza. I called him to ask him where he was because DD was getting hungry and he yelled at me and said "why the hell don't you just order something." He gets home all pissed off and then proceeds to give me a cheapy card with a $25 generic gift card and my bday cake was those cupcakes out of a box that you buy at gas stations. Yep...banner day for Mack.

FWH is promising that this year will be 1000% better.

petite71 posted 7/29/2013 12:04 PM

I have a different love for my H now....what I mean is that I still love him,just not butterflies in my stomach,& look at him just melt kind of love.
Well I went to the gym & feel better inside & out. I hope all of you have a great day & treat yourself. (((HUGS))) Hope time heals for all of us.

homewrecked2011 posted 7/29/2013 12:11 PM

I used to LOVE Halloween!

My XWH (before I knew what was going on ) took me, our children, OW and her kids on a hayride. It was alot of fun with a full moon, etc.

Now I don't want anything to do with this holiday.

But, I am thinking about taking my favorite holiday back!

petite71 posted 7/29/2013 12:17 PM

That's awesome!!! (((homewrecked2011)))
What doesn't kill makes you stronger.

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