Member # 38765
| Posted: 8:49 AM, July 29th (Monday), 2013|
Its my 7th wedding anniversary. He took me on a trip...it was ok, but there were those times that it was obvious he thought taking me on a trip was so thoughtful he need not do more and you could tell all the times he didnt even consider me. He text his ex-fiance to ask her what type of pizza they had eaten at a restaurant and when I said "are you serious right now" he was all "stop it, I know you will like it, Im doing it for you" Yeah...it was a deep dish of SPINACH AND MUSHROOM...I dislike cooked spinach and hate mushrooms!!! UGH, thanks for involving your ex in our trip...that night i had a lovely dream about him and his OW. Next night I had hoped after commenting numerous times on going for a nice dinner and he should make reservations and even making a big deal about packing a dress before we left that we would have a romantic dinner, but no plans. I said I wanted steak...we went to an italian place, it was ok...but the lack of thought killed it. Top it off my pasta was just soso (we have a great italian place where we live). I wanted to go a certain place...he napped so long we didnt have time to go etc. So really the trip was ok, but at some point itd have been nice to feel thought about. Got back last night and this a.m. wake up to HAPPY ANNIVERSARY message from his mother...his came 30 sec later (Im assuming she triggered his memory by sending it to both of us)
Regardless after about a month of knowing I was not getting happy on my own, today I broke down and called in for another dosing of pills...havnt had them and taken them before except for a month once (did take anxiety pills though). I thought when OW was gone I'd feel better, but I dont. Its been 2 months she's been out of the picture and I wait for the next D-day...relive things over and over, have nightmares...cant deal with stress (which is what im paid to do, so I want out of my job so bad I cant hardly get up in the morning) I just want to sit home wiht the kids and cook and clean, I can do those things and its not so pressing...sure the kids can be demanding but it just not the same as work. The ONLY time Im truly happy, is when I am with my kids...were it not for them, Id have nothing to keep me going.
Posts: 303 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 6449
| Posted: 9:09 AM, July 29th (Monday), 2013|
~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
Posts: 10020 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas