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I reminded WH to find a lawyer

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tennispro posted 7/29/2013 09:34 AM

I'm very serious about getting out of this M and I reminded WH that he needs to find a lawyer. I really hope he takes the steps needed. In our situation he will need representation.
Dday for me was almost 5 wks ago and I've suffered such emotional distress and verbal abuse ever since. I'm sick and tired of the blameshifting. For me and for our children we need to end this ridiculous charade.
I told WH I want to move on with my life. I actually did try to R but then he hurled abuses at me so I gave that up quickly.
Thanks for being here everyone.

newlysingle posted 7/29/2013 09:44 AM

Who cares if he had a lawyer or not. This isn't your problem. Get yourself a lawyer and file. If he wants representation, it's up to him to get it. My STBX never got an attorney because he's a dumbass. I did and an coming out MUCH better in the divorce settlement. Oh, well.

I'm sorry you've had to join this club, but you sound very strong and are taking the steps needed to protect yourself and your children. You just need to stop worrying about him.

Lots of hugs to you.

roughroadahead posted 7/29/2013 09:47 AM

Totally not your problem. Not one little bit. You are taking care of you and your kids now. He's a grown man. Let him make his own decisions. The consequences are his, and his alone.

LadyQ posted 7/29/2013 09:51 AM

Very gently, why are you reminding him of anything? He fired you from that job, remember? It makes absolutely no difference to YOUR case whether he has a lawyer or not. That's his problem. Concentrate on what's best for you and your kids.

AussieMum posted 7/29/2013 23:38 PM

Not your job to remind him of things and help him get himself organised.

Focus on just yourself and your kiddos now. Good luck!

Grace and Flowers posted 7/30/2013 00:08 AM

A lot has happened for you in only 5 weeks.

But the others are right. It is hard to stop being the one who "organizes" and "reminds", but you must. You really don't need to remind him of anything.

My WXH did not get a lawyer. A dumb decision, I thought, but SO not my problem.

Take care of yourself and your kids. Don't worry about what he does or does not do.

(((((tennispro)))))

[This message edited by SadMad2012 at 12:08 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)]

myperfectlife posted 7/30/2013 11:58 AM

((((hugs))))
And yes...you can file without him having a lawyer. Just do your thang and full steam ahead.
If he doesn't get a lawyer, more the fool him.

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