D-Day, June 10, 2012
SA is primarily an intimacy disorder, an EMOTIONAL intimacy disorder. The sexual acting out is most often a poor self-medicating coping mechanism for the emotional isolation - which is often a result of family of origin (FOO) stuff.
So in the 12 step groups, you work on controlling and getting sobriety from the symptoms (the sexual acting out), sometimes it takes a good IC (CSAT in most cases) to heal the emotional trauma that is the cause of the symptom, and to work on building genuine emotional intimacy.
It is a long road, but it can be traveled successfully.
edited for typos (I always have to!)
What Skan said really hits home:
My FWHs inability to share with me and initiate a conversation about his whys are slowly driving another wedge between us
This is one of our hugest obstacles in R. I feel like I need you to share your process and insights... Your whys and how's in order to feel some level of safety. It hurts that we are both so frustrated in meeting this goal/ making this reality. Can you think of any ways that I can make this easier or feel safer for you?
Can anyone who has experienced this share what has worked and what has not. All of my appreciation in advance...