A year and a half (or so) and I am feeling really good. I was on a little zen walk today at lunch, thinking about nothing, and it dawned on me why.
She is earning her way back. Now there are two parts to that.
Her part - She has been continuing IC and talking to me about her struggles (I must admit at times I want her to just fetch me a beer and turn the TV up so I can watch whatever World Cup qualifier I am watching - but alas listening is important I know this). She doesn't fall all over herself to make me comfortable but I don't want her to. I just want her to be a fucking adult and talk to me when the shit jumps off so to speak. She is doing that.
My part - I need to believe her. Her doing her work is important in that equation, but mine is more important to me because it what I can control. As she earns her way back I am feeling much more comfortable extending empathy, sharing the insights that I have learned through this without anger and well love.
While I liked anger A LOT, its not a great place live very long. Peace, understanding and empathy are more my speed. Boy am I glad she stopped being a complete asshat.
For all who are relatively new to the R thing, IMO rage away, test them and make them crawl. If they don't stick around -screw 'em. Find the next truck driver. That said, if it has been a while and your WS is working with you and you are still struggling take an honest look at why? Is it them or you? What's holding you back?
Take care....
