My DH and I went to band camp along with another couple and the band nurse this past week. We worked our butts off. I always go and help the nurse take care of kids and this year we had a bug going around so there were quite a few sick kids. Every night I was up til 1:30-2am and then back up by 6am to make sure the kids had stayed in their rooms (we put a piece of tape on their door so we can easily see if anyone has left their room) so I wasn't getting much sleep and neither was she. My DH was working on awards for the instructors to give out on the last night of camp, we made sure they were eating and drinking and because I am in charge of uniforms and we have a huge freshman class this year I took uniforms to hem pants and replace buttons. We always take a golf cart to save us on running our cars around the camp. The other couple took over the golf cart, if we needed it we had to ask them and tell them why we needed it. This was their first yr at camp, my Dh and I have been there for 4 yrs and the nurse for 8 yrs, but they treated us like we were children. The only thing they did all week was in the morning they would get ice and fill up the coolers that we kept the water bottles in on the field. On Tuesday my Dh was working on a couple awards and asked the man to help and told the woman that I was in the room working on pants and could really use her help while the kids were at sectionals. They both gave him a blank stare and took off for a joy ride on the golf cart. It had gotten so bad that the kids were begging us to let them prank the golf cart and put "their last name mobile" on it, we said no.
On Wed evening after the kids had marched their evening laps and went back to the hall to put their instruments away we had some kids sick, one had fallen down (he passes out often because of a medical condition) and another that is a drama queen that I guess wasn't getting enough attention so she started complaining that she couldn't feel her leg. The nurse and I were running around trying to take care of all these kids while my Dh was bringing us things we needed. This man stood off to the side and watched while his wife stood and held the door open. The nurse finally snapped and said to her, "you just stand there and hold the door open, your doing a great job". I said NOTHING! After we got the sick kids loaded up in the nurses car to take them back to their rooms, I walked past the band director as this man was complaining to him about what the nurse had said to his wife. Again, I said NOTHING. He then started on me.. yelling at me, in front of kids, that I was just as bad. I looked at him and said, "I'm sorry that I can't sit my butt on a golf cart all week" and walked away.
This was the same evening that my dd was named assistant drum major. I should have been happy, excited and celebrating with her. Instead I was pissed off and hurt and went for a run. The nurse and my Dh had to come find me and force me to go back to the room.
I am still so pissed off about this. This couple were suppose to be our friends. We go out to dinner with them at least once a month. I go to lunch with her every now and then. She is the only friend of mine that I have told what my DH did. They talked us into going to their church and we love it, so much that we joined the church bowling league with them. We didn't go to church yesterday because of them. Now we have bowling tomorrow evening with them. For some reason the man is still talking to my DH even though he has told them that they were in the wrong. For the last year all I have heard from this man is that his wife feels excluded. That no one will let her help. I have told them both that all she has to do is jump in and help if she sees something that needs done or at least ask "what can I do, what do you need me to do" but she doesn't. She was suppose to be the head of the banquet committee and did nothing, I ended up doing all the work, and then he got pissed that the band director only recognized me for all my hard work. So I guess them not helping out while at band camp shouldn't surprise me. But I am still angry that they treated me this way.
I had thought about sending them an email but I am just not sure what to say.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I wish I could give you clear cut advice on what to do here... but I just don't have any.
My gut would tell me that if they're going to complain to people in charge about NOTHING then for you to actually say something just might lead to even bigger drama!
On the other hand... there's no reason why you should have to sit back and tolerate their nonsense.
Ugh... this is a tough one.
Did the band director / band booster president-say anything to this couple about their monopolizing the golf cart?
I think if you say something you risk loosing the friendship. If you say nothing the resentment may build and risk the friendship anyway.
No easy answers