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Divorce/Separation :
DD7 being driven around with just a lap belt :(

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 AussieMum (original poster member #36579) posted at 5:07 AM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013

Another parenting gem from STBXH He's got himself a new work van, specifically so he can take the kids to and from school on his days without having to bring his own car and then swap over vehicles for work.

It's a bench seat so DS is seated on the passenger side (with a regular seatbelt) and DD is seated in the middle with just a lap belt, so her upper body is not restrained at all.

For some ungodly reason, this is not illegal here (so there is very little I can do to make STBX see sense) but from what I have read, these lap belts are so dangerous and the injuries sustained in an accident can be horrible.

I'm so worried - she's not even in a back seat, she's right there next to STBXH, the driver. I just don't understand how he could put her at risk like that. They travel 35 minutes each way on a highway where he can drive up to 110km/hr (sorry, not sure what that is in miles per hour) and god forbid there was an accident, she would be flung forward.

I've emailed him, trying not to 'accuse' or 'attack' him which is hard. He hasn't responded of course.

I hate not having control over my children

Me 47
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS13 & DD8)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

posts: 185   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6426911
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Coraline ( member #36434) posted at 6:42 AM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013

OMG! Is there nothing at all you can do about that?

Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

posts: 771   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2012
id 6426978
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 7:28 AM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013

This freaks me the fuck out. Seriously. Can someone please explain the mental gymnastics necessary to tell yourself that the best way to fuck with your spouse (who is divorcing you because you're a lying cheating assclown) is to endanger your innocent child's life?????????? How does a person get to that place in their minds that this is okay???????

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6427008
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 8:59 AM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013

The laws here are rubbish but even 4-7 they still have to be in the back seat unless there are younger kids taking up all of the back seat. 7 up is free game except they do recommend they stay in boosters until they outgrow them.

http://www.rta.gov.au/roadsafety/downloads/choose_right_buckle_right.pdf

It shouldn't be based on age - it should be based on size. I have a huge 5 year old (20kgs, 119cms which is 44 pounds / 3'10" for the US folk). Some have much smaller than average kids who should stay in car seats but are moved to boosters at 4.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6427044
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LadyQ ( member #32847) posted at 5:21 PM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013

Can you offer to buy a high back booster that has a 5 point restraint? My youngest was technically old enough to sit in a regular booster seat, but was pig-headed about sitting properly (she was always taking the shoulder harness off, leaning forward, yada yada). So, I bought a high back booster that had the regular 5 point restraint and put her in that. The middle position in my truck is also only a lap belt, but that way, the seat is restrained by the lap belt, the child restrained by the seat. Just make sure you get one that will cover her weight (the one I got went to 100 lbs).

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

posts: 1650   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2011
id 6427484
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LadyQ ( member #32847) posted at 5:23 PM on Tuesday, July 30th, 2013

On a lighter note, my middle child was tiny! She was in a booster until 6th grade! Even then she could have still used it, but it's a trifle embarassing for a kid to get out of a booster at the junior high school.

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

posts: 1650   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2011
id 6427490
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 5:07 AM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013

^^

Gawd, I didn't get to the "how embarrassing!!" stage of adolescence until I was 15! They start at 10 these days!!

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6428476
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