i used to feel like this when i first stated to see my ic...whom i now have come to really like....and look forward to my weekly session.
before i see her, i always have an agenda in my mind on what i want to discuss with her. and then she guides the discussion. this is after i was seeing her for a while. when we first started, i told her that i needed help in dealing with my h cheating. i told her pointblank that i needed some help healing and dealing with the overwhelming pain in a constructive manner.
she took it from there...but i was specific. telling her that up front led to me "telling her what happend." and pouring out all of my pain and sorrow....there was a huge box on kleenex right there.
and once i got it all out....with her really encouraging me to talk about that pain....she then wanted to learn more about me and my background. and i decided to be completely honest....and not sugar coat anything. i have found that to really help me.
with me being honest about my deep pain....telling her the play by play of the affair and how it all transpired...and then telling her my background...she helped me see that i had a lot of self esteem issues....that i didnt understand my value and my worth....that i was pretty much a doormat...and allowed myself to be disrespected based on foo issues.
from there....i learned how to get my self respect and self esteem back...and be strong.
that is what worked for me.......complete honesty, telling her everyting about the affair...all my pain...and telling her the truth about my family and past relationships.
a good therapist will lead the way.
hope this helps.