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Newest Member: Saad (61538)

User Topic: Hit a trigger again
♀ 37534
Member # 37534
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been doing pretty well lately. I have been attending celebrate recovery and loving it! I have been working on my codependent behavior and we are planning on renewing our vows on our anniversary in September this year...however today I hit a trigger that has really upset me and I can't seem to shake it.

I was on facebook and I happened upon an update that my fWH's ex-uncle put up about the date of his being in a relationship. The thing is that relationship started while my sister-in-law was married to my brother-in-law. So knowing of their affair and how much pain that causes is bad enough and then to see that date put up as a special thing made me think of how my fWH had 8 such "special" dates of his own and were during our M.

Ugh! I thought I was doing well but this made me angry again! I haven't been very angry for any of this. Mostly just sad. I never really hit an anger stage or anything. I mentioned to my fWH the trigger and he held me quietly even though he was running late to work. I just want normal life back! I don't want to go back to a life with such a lack of emotional intimacy but I do wish I could go back to the days of not having to think of triggers or affair stuff or SA stuff.

Me,BS 33
SA fWH (masame5) 35
Married 13 yrs, 7 kids
D-day 10/9/12 (caught him through fb chat) D-day #2 11/19/12 thru 11/21/12 (found out about all the rest of the A's.)
8 AP

Posts: 196 | Registered: Nov 2012
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Experiencing the trauma of infidelity definitely causes you to be more aware, hurt, and disgusted when you see other people going through it, particularly when there is no remorse, and it is even celebrated.

I hear you.

On the other hand, I am glad to hear that you have been doing pretty well lately, and that your fWH has responded well to your trigger.

Posts: 30662 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 2

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