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Silver anniversary

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wildbananas posted 7/30/2013 13:22 PM

Today would have been my 25th anniversary with ex-asshat. 25 years... that blows my mind. Am I old enough to have a silver anniversary?

It's just so strange. I was with him five times longer than I've been without him and I can barely remember even being married to him. How does someone who once meant everything become a perfect stranger? (I know, that's a question that gets asked around here all the time...)

And even though I have no interest in remarrying at this point in my life, I may want to someday and it kind of makes me sad that unless I live a really long time, I'll never get to have that silver anniversary with some nice guy. You know?

I'm happy to say that outside of the crap he deals the bunch, the bunch and I are completely happy and settled. It's a good place to be and I have never once regretted leaving him. Life is pretty darn good on the other side of the insanity.

ajsmom posted 7/30/2013 13:28 PM

Bittersweet, isn't it?

We must be on the same timetable - would have been 24 for me in August.

You're as strong as they come, Nanners. Toast yourself!

AJ's MOM

Jpapageorge posted 7/30/2013 13:50 PM

You got married when you were 4 years old?

Newlease posted 7/30/2013 13:51 PM

My D was final just 2 weeks shy of what would have been my 24 wedding anniversary. It's been 8 years now and I don't even remember my anniversary date until it's already passed.

With my current SO, we have been together 3 years now. He is 65 years old. I have a new philosophy - "it's not the quantity of time spent together, but the quality in the time we spend together."

We have had 3 really great years - I've packed more fun/love/laughter/experiences into these last 3 years than I did in the last 10 years of my marriage. Just taking each day as it comes and appreciating it.

NL

wildbananas posted 7/30/2013 13:55 PM

You're partially to blame for that, ajsmom... I'm here in part to your 2X4s. And every one of them was appreciated.

j... ha ha ha. I was actually 20. But thank you.

And NL, that's a really nice way of looking at it. I'm glad you found someone you're so happy with.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 2:00 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)]

gma56 posted 7/30/2013 17:30 PM

I'll never get to have that silver anniversary with some nice guy. You know?
I'm the same way. We were married 26 yrs on paper but he didn't deserve any of it. To think there might be someone in the future that truely deserves the longevity is sad it is probably too late for me.

I hope to someday to have that quality in a relationship as NL and her SO have found. It would be a wonderful way to spend my golden years.

Gma

tryingagain74 posted 7/30/2013 21:29 PM

I have that same weird disconnect-- 17 years with him, and he's been relegated to the back of my mind like an old boyfriend I only dated for a few months. Did it really mean that little, or is that a coping mechanism? I don't know.

My parents will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next week. It saddens me to know that I will never share a milestone like that with anyone unless I find someone soon (unlikely) and live a really long time (hopefully!).

But, I'd rather not meet someone for a while and spend a few great years with him than still be with my XWH and celebrate a milestone with him, that's for sure!

Lisa2You posted 7/31/2013 00:49 AM

Wow. I can so relate. I was happily married for 12 years...and unhappily married for 18 years. We just "celebrated" our 30th anniversary. He went fishing with friends. I stayed home and took care of our very pregnant daughter. That was a few weeks ago. We are finally divorcing. I got married at 19, and was married for 30 years! Gawd! I've been married for 2/3 of my life.

I can't imagine ever marrying again. But who knows. Right now, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other - that's all I can do.

Maybe we need to not think about the years we threw away, but the years we have left. I'm going for quality for the rest of mine. The quantity doesn't really matter. Best, Lisa

click4it posted 7/31/2013 02:32 AM

I'm happy to say that outside of the crap he deals the bunch, the bunch and I are completely happy and settled. It's a good place to be and I have never once regretted leaving him. Life is pretty darn good on the other side of the insanity

Cheers!

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