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Saw old pictures of ex, yuk!

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dindy posted 7/30/2013 15:56 PM

I was deleting old photos off my laptop and came across a few of ex I'd not seen in ages. What makes me laugh is that ex apparently fell out of love with me for becoming a mother. Sure I put on weight and our relationship took a back seat due to parenthood. But, when I see him in those pictures I just think "look how fat you were, and you weren't even pregnant!'

I don't hardly feel any longing for him now. I do grieve the person he was and the relationship I thought we had and our future as a family but they are no longer real.

Other women are welcome to this little sweaty, gangly boy who just happens to be my children's father!

better4me posted 7/30/2013 16:53 PM

What makes me laugh is that ex apparently fell out of love with me for becoming a mother.
I would say that he didn't really understand what love was, did he?

Grieving what I thought I had was the hardest part for me the first year or so. Accepting that it wasn't what I thought I had and that what it really was wasn't enough, makes it better but still sad.

dindy posted 7/31/2013 04:45 AM

Yes you're right better4me, I don't think he understood what love was. Not do I ever believe that he will ever understand.

SBB posted 7/31/2013 05:13 AM

Grieving what I thought I had was the hardest part for me the first year or so. Accepting that it wasn't what I thought I had and that what it really was wasn't enough, makes it better but still sad.

^^Yep!

I like my men on the chunky side but not in that bloated, "I drink too much" / fat arse snoring on the couch chunky.

I remember being told I 'changed' when I became a mum. My first thought was "yeah - and you didn't, that was kind of the problem". My second thought was "When I actually HAD a baby I realised what a fucking child you were".

I never looked better after kids. I was slimmer, I BF for 2 years so wasn't drinking etc. He still cheated.

Its not the weight or even us becoming mothers. It real life they don't like. Nothing 'realer' than a baby.

Ironic that the sad clown always wanted kids whereas I never really had the urge - turns out he's shit at it and I'm a natural.

BrokenDaisy posted 7/31/2013 05:18 AM

Grieving what I thought I had was the hardest part for me the first year or so. Accepting that it wasn't what I thought I had and that what it really was wasn't enough, makes it better but still sad.

This!! As soon as I wrapped my head around the fact that it wasn't what I thought it was I could file for divorce. I'm not out of the woods yet but at least I know I am heading in the right direction.

My stbx also said I "disgusted" him when I was pregnant. (With his son that we took years of infertility treatments to conceive) I am very active and fit and skinny, I think I looked pretty good for a pregnant woman. He was also always overweight, not obese but much more meat than I had (even when pregnant) but I didn't care, I loved him as he were. Silly me thought he'd feel the same about me. They enjoy pointing out our "flaws" and never see their own. I agree what do they know about love!?

(Sorry ended up venting in your thread)

Vulcanized posted 7/31/2013 18:29 PM

Yay!!!

PhoenixRisen posted 7/31/2013 20:14 PM

waiving hand

Seems like a general theme: cheaters find any physical fault with their wives bodies to justify their immoral behavior

lets compare these two "crimes"

gaining weight when pg vs committing adultery

hmmm that is a tough call

dindy posted 8/1/2013 01:25 AM

Yep any excuse really to hide the fact that they are not mature enough to be a parent and accept us, warts and all.

I keep having dreams where OW is pregnant by ex. Not nice! I suppose the fact that I haven't been told much of the details or given a timeline just creates all sorts in my head.

Having a tough week, need to snap out of it for the sake of my children.
:(

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