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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: need hugs, tmi warning
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I handled it. With grace. As much grace as is possible under the circumstances...

I have two boys. They have two friends, boys of the same age.

I overheard a piece of conversation. One of the boys used a word that is probably used among middle school boys... *shudder.

I waited. This was a conversation I was willing to have with my boys, not a group of four. Later, in the car I asked if they knew what this word meant....

And that is beginning of the conversation where I got to explain how the innocent act of brewing tea became associated with a sexual act and why I didn't want to hear them or their friends use that word to describe what their video game character is doing to another character.

They are "enlightened." DS12 thinks my bravery is share worthy. He will undoubtedly tell someone via text what he had to "endure."

"THE TALK" is a big fat lie. I have had multiple versions of "the talk" at least a dozen times. I don't even stutter anymore.

I need wine.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5947 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
deeplysad
♀ 16590
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did good!!

((((caregiver))))


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3260 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hugs)))) You're SO right - it's "the talks" plural.

Well done, caregiver.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26511 | Registered: Aug 2011
HFSSC
♀ 33338
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Lord! I feel your pain.

I had a conversation with ds14 last week about the word "vulva". Because I have 2 boys, that's just not a word we've used all that much. (Okay, never ) He was reading one of those autocorrect sites and it had an autocorrect from Volvo to vulva. I'm pretty sure I would have traded that for teabagging.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 18 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2937 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
kernel
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the innocent act of brewing tea became associated with a sexual act

I hate to admit it, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

Great job dealing with it. I wish all parents would do this with their kids.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5337 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
kernel
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, never mind. Got it. (hey, I'm a morning person and it's my bedtime!)


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5337 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

damn, kernel. I got stuck on your first post while in my head I thought "do I REALLY have to do this AGAIN???"

pshew! Glad you caught up!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5947 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great job, caregiver.

Well I learned something new today. It's a good thing I'm not totally conscious when I drink my tea first thing in the morning or tomorrow would be awkward.


Posts: 36799 | Registered: Mar 2011
Grace and Flowers
♀ 34431
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, cg, I hear ya! Two boys here (soon to be 20)! I sent them each to college with a giant box of condoms.

It's funny...one of mine we can talk about anything...and do. The other one blushes beet red any time any sexual discussion comes up. But he's a smart cookie...and I pretty much forced him to listen to several "talks" when younger.

But it is funny, the things that come up. When I first heard the term you're referring to, a few years ago, I had to look it up!


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1218 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
kernel
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL to CG - I'm glad I didn't make you explain!!

For the record, I knew what teabagging was, just didn't get the reference from your phrase. Yep, Jeopardy fail. Just had to defend myself in case you thought I was living in a cave...


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5337 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

I don't know if girls are easier or if just my girl is easier. But then, I tell her that if she has sex then she will either get aids and die or she will get pregnant and have to live in the ghetto. Sorta kidding, but not really

I am trying to get the brew tea reference but I am just not. I even googled it and still I've got nothin. Maybe it will hit me at 3AM.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe my tmi warning was not needed if my reference was that vague!!

And apologies to jo2love!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5947 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm clueless as to what it is, but here are some hugs anyway, (((caregiver))).

Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
kernel
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

google teabagging (but not images, dear god, no)


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5337 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PSA. for those who really should not google the term. I am scared of that.

If it is good enough for a 9 year old and a 12 year old, it ought to be clear.

I described how you make tea... SOME people think that the male testicles resemble teabags. (It helps to know that they already had the repeated crouching motion from the video game). If someone is naked and repeatedly crouches over the face of another... (add the "oh, God" and horrified giggle of adolescent boys)

I don't know if you are welcome or not!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5947 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My son recently over heard something akin to this on Sex and the City... I didn't know he was in the room.

He got a weird look on his face and I had to launch into another "talk".

Note to self: don't watch Sex and the City when the boy is awake!

ETA: Good Job on your talk... and (((Hugs)))

[This message edited by jrc1963 at 9:45 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)]


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ironically enough, NOW I am blushing!!!!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5947 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok I must be living in a cave. I had to look it up- learn something new everyday on SI.

CG you did we'll, and it is a series of talks... sometimes with too much info.

Did you let the other parents know? That is always my quandry-would they be receptive? Thankfully most were.

Passing the wine. Hugs also,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5744 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't. We were both in the room but she probably wasn't paying attention. I have those teacher ears. But the way her son said it and the lack of reaction from the other boys I KNEW they did not know what they were saying.

I could tell her. But me telling her would cause her to be embarrassed and she might handle it with less grace out of her own embarrassment. Her sons lived with an older stepbrother for a while and she has handled other terms, specifically some nasty words for women so she can handle it.

I am pretty sure the word will get out via my sons! I don't want to damage the communication lines by "tattling" on the friend.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5947 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well for those of you who don't watch Sex and the City - Samantha's solution to the problem was to "just breath thru your nose."


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 44
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