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need hugs, tmi warning

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caregiver9000 posted 7/30/2013 20:47 PM

I handled it. With grace. As much grace as is possible under the circumstances...

I have two boys. They have two friends, boys of the same age.

I overheard a piece of conversation. One of the boys used a word that is probably used among middle school boys... *shudder.

I waited. This was a conversation I was willing to have with my boys, not a group of four. Later, in the car I asked if they knew what this word meant....

And that is beginning of the conversation where I got to explain how the innocent act of brewing tea became associated with a sexual act and why I didn't want to hear them or their friends use that word to describe what their video game character is doing to another character.

They are "enlightened." DS12 thinks my bravery is share worthy. He will undoubtedly tell someone via text what he had to "endure."

"THE TALK" is a big fat lie. I have had multiple versions of "the talk" at least a dozen times. I don't even stutter anymore.

I need wine.

deeplysad posted 7/30/2013 20:50 PM

You did good!!


nowiknow23 posted 7/30/2013 20:51 PM

((((hugs)))) You're SO right - it's "the talks" plural.

Well done, caregiver.

HFSSC posted 7/30/2013 20:53 PM

Oh Lord! I feel your pain.

I had a conversation with ds14 last week about the word "vulva". Because I have 2 boys, that's just not a word we've used all that much. (Okay, never ) He was reading one of those autocorrect sites and it had an autocorrect from Volvo to vulva. I'm pretty sure I would have traded that for teabagging.

kernel posted 7/30/2013 20:54 PM

the innocent act of brewing tea became associated with a sexual act

I hate to admit it, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

Great job dealing with it. I wish all parents would do this with their kids.

kernel posted 7/30/2013 20:55 PM

Okay, never mind. Got it. (hey, I'm a morning person and it's my bedtime!)

caregiver9000 posted 7/30/2013 21:25 PM

damn, kernel. I got stuck on your first post while in my head I thought "do I REALLY have to do this AGAIN???"

pshew! Glad you caught up!

jo2love posted 7/30/2013 21:29 PM

Great job, caregiver.

Well I learned something new today. It's a good thing I'm not totally conscious when I drink my tea first thing in the morning or tomorrow would be awkward.

Grace and Flowers posted 7/30/2013 21:29 PM

Oh, cg, I hear ya! Two boys here (soon to be 20)! I sent them each to college with a giant box of condoms.

It's of mine we can talk about anything...and do. The other one blushes beet red any time any sexual discussion comes up. But he's a smart cookie...and I pretty much forced him to listen to several "talks" when younger.

But it is funny, the things that come up. When I first heard the term you're referring to, a few years ago, I had to look it up!

kernel posted 7/30/2013 21:33 PM

LOL to CG - I'm glad I didn't make you explain!!

For the record, I knew what teabagging was, just didn't get the reference from your phrase. Yep, Jeopardy fail. Just had to defend myself in case you thought I was living in a cave...

Dreamboat posted 7/30/2013 21:37 PM


I don't know if girls are easier or if just my girl is easier. But then, I tell her that if she has sex then she will either get aids and die or she will get pregnant and have to live in the ghetto. Sorta kidding, but not really

I am trying to get the brew tea reference but I am just not. I even googled it and still I've got nothin. Maybe it will hit me at 3AM.

caregiver9000 posted 7/30/2013 21:38 PM

Maybe my tmi warning was not needed if my reference was that vague!!

And apologies to jo2love!

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 7/30/2013 21:40 PM

I'm clueless as to what it is, but here are some hugs anyway, (((caregiver))).

kernel posted 7/30/2013 21:43 PM

google teabagging (but not images, dear god, no)

caregiver9000 posted 7/30/2013 21:43 PM

PSA. for those who really should not google the term. I am scared of that.

If it is good enough for a 9 year old and a 12 year old, it ought to be clear.

I described how you make tea... SOME people think that the male testicles resemble teabags. (It helps to know that they already had the repeated crouching motion from the video game). If someone is naked and repeatedly crouches over the face of another... (add the "oh, God" and horrified giggle of adolescent boys)

I don't know if you are welcome or not!

jrc1963 posted 7/30/2013 21:44 PM

My son recently over heard something akin to this on Sex and the City... I didn't know he was in the room.

He got a weird look on his face and I had to launch into another "talk".

Note to self: don't watch Sex and the City when the boy is awake!

ETA: Good Job on your talk... and (((Hugs)))

[This message edited by jrc1963 at 9:45 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)]

caregiver9000 posted 7/30/2013 21:45 PM

Ironically enough, NOW I am blushing!!!!

Kajem posted 7/30/2013 21:54 PM

Ok I must be living in a cave. I had to look it up- learn something new everyday on SI.

CG you did we'll, and it is a series of talks... sometimes with too much info.

Did you let the other parents know? That is always my quandry-would they be receptive? Thankfully most were.

Passing the wine. Hugs also,


caregiver9000 posted 7/30/2013 22:02 PM

I didn't. We were both in the room but she probably wasn't paying attention. I have those teacher ears. But the way her son said it and the lack of reaction from the other boys I KNEW they did not know what they were saying.

I could tell her. But me telling her would cause her to be embarrassed and she might handle it with less grace out of her own embarrassment. Her sons lived with an older stepbrother for a while and she has handled other terms, specifically some nasty words for women so she can handle it.

I am pretty sure the word will get out via my sons! I don't want to damage the communication lines by "tattling" on the friend.

jrc1963 posted 7/30/2013 22:05 PM

Well for those of you who don't watch Sex and the City - Samantha's solution to the problem was to "just breath thru your nose."

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