((((clicky))))
I TOTALLY GET the frustration with asshole who thinks the problem is fixing the phone.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE PHONE ASSHOLE, IT'S ABOUT HOW I'M BEING TREATED AND DISRESPECTED BY MY OWN SON!!!!
It is difficult but necessary to draw the line with teens. How they can't disrespect you and then expect you to be there at their beck and call.
Example: DS2 (now 18) can get very abusive and disrespectful in his tone and with his words, but then wants me to drive him somewhere lickety split because he didn't get his shit together in time to get the train. Uh - NOT HAPPENING. I tell him that he should be treating me with more respect, and doubly so when he wants (actually expects) me to do him a FAVOR. He was much worse about this while he was 16/17, is mostly coming out of it now, and DOES respond positively to reminders about treating me respectfully.
It is hard to disengage from the whole situation, but that is really the best thing. If (when?) he treats you like that, you can say to him that you can see he is not ready to interact with you and that he can try again later when he is ready to treat you with respect. Then TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY. Do NOT get into a discussion about what he did (and he WILL start with the whole 'what did I do' bullshit). Do something else, but do NOT explain anything. If necessary, repeat the message (but only once) that you do NOT ACCEPT being treated or spoken to in a disrespectful manner.
In a calmer moment, you can lay out for him the behavior you expect from him, as well as what he can expect from you. (Yeah, that's the hard part - we have to treat them with respect too!!
) You can also decide (alone or together) the consequences for breaching the behavior rules, typically losing some kind of privilege that is meaningful to him - no electronics for a day (or 2 or 3, depending on the seriousness), grounded, extra chore(s), giving up allowance, etc. Not all at once, of course, but try to pick something that will hit him.
And when he DOES get a consequence, you do NOT need to explain, just apply it. 'I do not accept disrespect, you will now (lose allowance, be grounded, whatever). Then leave. No arguments, no explanations, no giving in to him pleading his case - how he 'didn't know' or you 'didn't warn him' or ..... whatever excuse.
Good luck, I don't know how old he is, but the teen years are hard on them AND us.
Great job on smokelessness, stay strong!!
((((clicky))))