He says he's willing but it's only been 2 days and he's already complaining about sleeping on the couch...
You have to look at his actions, not his words. His words right now are Bull. If his actions don't back up his words, then his words are worthless. Remember, he is a liar that got caught. That means that he's going to lie to you as much as possible, and do the minimum possible, until and if he finally feels remorse. Right now, all he's feeling is regreat that he got caught.
Regreat: Oh damn, I got caught! I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I'll make it up to you. I don't want you to leave! I'll do everything in my power to make this better. I'll never do this again. I promise!
Remorse: I am so very sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve this. This *decision* was completely mine it's all my fault that I went out and betrayed you. What can I do to help you? What do you need from me? Here's my phone, my computer, and my social media passwords do you need to put a tracker on my phone to make you feel safer? Please tell me what I can do to help you.
See the difference? Regreat I statements. It's all about me. And I'm going to do the minimum possible to go back to being able to be comfortable. Remorse it's all about the betrayed partner and what the WS can do to help them.
And you may want to tell your WH that if he's having a problem sleeping on the couch, he can go out and sleep under a tree instead. Then while you drop that bomb on him, here's another one that isn't so great. You, and he, need to have full panel STD/HIV tests run on yourselves. I know that makes your heart just break a bit more it sure was another blow to me too, when I had to make the call. And you need to insist that when his results come back that you see the original results or his doctor tells you, in person or via phone, what the results are. You cannot trust him to tell you the truth. Liars lie. You cannot trust that he practiced safe sex. Liars lie AND they convenently forget about oral sex, etc., that is not normally done with a latex shield.
I'm so very sorry. Please keep coming back. We're all here for you and unfortunately, we've all walked on your path. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012