Hello, I havenít been on here for a while because weíve been giving R a try and I noticed that my coming here would set us back. We would be doing okay but then I would come here and read everyone elseís stories and it made mine feel fresh and new again and put us back at the beginning. Now I have an issue I think only people here can help with so Iím hoping to get a little advice.
Weíre in tentative R. Weíre together. Weíre trying. In part of that trying, weíre attempting to have sex but itís not going well. I justÖcanít. I canít bring myself to want it or want him. He never even physically cheated on me but the comments he made to me, the things he said about my body during that time, the perfectly airbrushed-women he would look at...I think all of that is still in my head and messing me up. We used to have sex several times a week. The longest we would go without would be three days. Now we can go three weeks without it and Iím fine but I know heís frustrated. The times we doÖafterward I feel like I have the flu. I feel feverish (no actual fever) and light-headed, so shaky that I can barely stand up straight, and I feel incredibly nauseous. Even when itís goodÖI feel like this after. It eventually passes within an hour. What is this? Is this anxiety?
Weíve done marriage counseling but it didnít seem to help. Iíve had several individual counseling sessions (ongoing) but I just havenít found where it has helped yet. The counselor keeps wanting to talk about my unbelievably bad childhood which I know has ties to my present feelings about sex but I just canít put out every bad memory and experience to someone I barely know. I havenít brought this up during a session yet and I canít get in for another three weeks (my work schedule, not the counselorís). Has anyone else experienced this? Thoughts? Thank you for reading. Iím sad this group has to exist but Iím glad itís here when itís needed.
[This message edited by lilies21 at 9:53 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)]