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ButterflyGirl posted 7/31/2013 10:16 AM

We ran out of time at the temporary hearing, so no rules at all still..

I just wanted the schedule and child support set, and now I have to go without even LONGER??


nowiknow23 posted 7/31/2013 10:54 AM

How long do you have to wait? Does it have to be done in a hearing?

ButterflyGirl posted 7/31/2013 11:33 AM

I don't know. L said he's gonna set another hearing and trial.. Probably at least a month again, but schools about to start and I want them while he's working!! And I want my freakin child support!!

The judge came down hard on him for bashing me to the kids, which we had plenty of proof of through their text messages..

They brought the DCF lady in, but the judge didn't want to hear it. His L tried to get the judge to make her testify since my accusations were "outrageous" but judge said no.. I never got a chance to defend myself why I called.

It just wasnt enough time to prove anything or get a ruling. I came out looking pretty good I think, but still not having any set rules is so frustrating..

I guess I just wait some more while he verbally abuses me and bashes me to the kids.

peridot posted 7/31/2013 13:10 PM


Can you set a hearing just for visitation and CS? That and temporary custody is usually the first thing heard.

Housefulloflove posted 7/31/2013 13:13 PM

(((hugs))) Sorry BG

gonnabe2016 posted 7/31/2013 15:09 PM

What do you think of your L?

I don't understand how your 2 issues weren't addressed at all. Doesn't make any sense to me.....

ButterflyGirl posted 7/31/2013 16:41 PM

I really like my lawyer. He really gets my issues and the situation and that we are dealing with an asshole abusive narc..

We only had 30 minutes scheduled, not sure why.. His lawyer wasted quite a bit of it with the DCF lady. Then POS was on the stand, lying as usual, which we will be able to prove when his job sends in the info.. My L did spend quite a bit of time asking about his language to me and the children. Maybe it was too long proving he ALWAYS verbally abuses me. It's almost every damn communication. But we probably should have just focused on how he bashed me to the kids and his schedule. And his lack of paying child support, which was mentioned and he admitted to..

I was on the stand for a bit, explaining why he should only have the one damn overnight a week he can have because of his job.. And the fact that I do EVERYTHING for the kids. POS couldn't even answer when they start school..

All of the sudden the judge dismissed me from the stand and said we were out of time. He came down on POS for his language and said the way he was texting my son and bashing me was "terrible parenting."

But then he just said how we both have had 2 lawyers and we are wasting time and money and we should just come to an agreement. He bashed him for the disparagement and me for the "false" CPS call. I didn't get a chance to say anything else..

I feel like there just wasn't enough time for the judge to fully understand and give me the schedule that we should have.. I'm just so frustrated.. I don't want to argue over kid exchanges or the schedule. That fucking bitch whore should NOT be watching my kids while he works.. It's total bullshit if I'm available, and I work from home and am ALWAYS available.. Ugh..

LifeIsBroken posted 7/31/2013 23:23 PM

I would be curious to know your lawyer's opinion of this particular judge. What kind of record the judge is known to have. It is so disappointing when you draw a judge for whom it's just another day at the office. They are so burned out or so anxious to get on the golf course or whatever, they do not stop to think (or care) how their rulings affect children, especially. We can report lawyers for ineffective assistance.... we should be able to file complaints against judges who no longer take their jobs seriously. My sympathies to you. It has to be very frustrating dealing with your jerk stbx, especially where your children are concerned.

tryingagain74 posted 7/31/2013 23:36 PM


This is what concerns me about 50/50 parenting. I'm sure that in most cases, the kids are actually spending time with their parents at both houses. But what about the cheaters who want the 50 percent but plan on using their APs as babysitters while they work when you could take the children? It's better to award 50/50 and have the kids stay with an AP than it is to let them be with an actual parent?

I hope the judge sees it your way. In my mind, that would be a huge miscarriage of justice for both you and your kids. This isn't about you wanting to keep them from their dad-- this is about you wanting to keep them with you when their dad isn't around.

Sending you positive court mojo...

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 11:36 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)]

Nature_Girl posted 8/1/2013 02:58 AM

Get her book!

ButterflyGirl posted 8/1/2013 07:36 AM

I would be curious to know your lawyer's opinion of this particular judge. What kind of record the judge is known to have. It is so disappointing when you draw a judge for whom it's just another day at the office.

Funny you should ask. My L really likes this judge. We actually had to change from the first judge since my mom went to church with her and sang in the choir with her, and actually STBX's former lawyer used to work for her, so she was ineligible to be our judge.. My L said he was super happy to have this judge, and the judge actually said at the end that he likes both of our L's..

BUT, our case was actually delayed about 45 minutes because he was covering cases for another judge too. Your theory of him being overworked that day and wanting to get home, etc., could absolutely come into play here. Well lucky me to get him on a day when he's being unfairly overworked..

I guess I'm irritated because the judge heard how he talks to me, and he expects me to be able to come to some agreements with that?!? Maybe he thinks we are both doing it, AND I'M NOT. Why didn't his L bring up any rude messages or email from me? CAUSE THERE AREN'T ANY.

I swear, here's one exchange:

Me: The school just called. You're late picking up the kids. Everything ok?

POS: Fuck you. My car wouldn't start and I'm on my way. Quit trying to be a fucking bitch.

I mean, this is what I'm talking about here. I'm completely reasonable, and he bashes me for no reason. And I would bet my last penny the fucker was napping..

Thanks Nature_Girl. Another book I'll have to read.. Exposing this narc is costing me my blood and soul.. I can't believe this is my life.. My sister is going through so much crap at work right now, and I just want to step away from this hell and have some fun and care about other people's problems. These ties to him are suffocating my life..

ButterflyGirl posted 8/1/2013 07:54 AM

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