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Newest Member: ChaosRider (45729)

User Topic: Rugsweeping
anemie
♀ 37543
Member # 37543
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it rugsweeping if you've just had enough. We are 9 months out from Dday, we are working pretty successfully towards R. He has been so great doing the work. But sometimes I just want to forget about it ever happening. Not have the talks about it anymore. Not read anymore books and heck I don't want to even being on this website anymore. I just want to look towards more positive things and the rest of my life, but I feel like I'm totally rugsweeping and that it may have a bad effect. Did anyone else get to this point?


D-Day October 18th, 2012 D-Day2 October 5th 2013
4 kids 12,11,7, 1 and one sweet little newborn

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: MA
LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's okay to take a mental break and enjoy life. I think completely moving it off of the agenda is a risky move, though. I kind of view the good periods of time as moving these discussions off of the kitchen table, and on to the side table in the living room. Out of view, but still there if we need to talk about it.

Posts: 8001 | Registered: Dec 2010
Markone
♂ 30291
Member # 30291
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BTDT

Temporary vacation that helped somewhat. But festered and anger came back worse than before. Got stuck in the Catch 22 - wanting things to be "normal" and then resenting the hell out of the fact that going back to normal meant it just "going away" for her.

Worse,when I tried to re-engage, it was clear that she thought "I should be over it by now".

No surprise that there was no R in the end.


DD 11/28/10
Me (BH)
Her (WS)
Separated and filed (7/13)

Posts: 413 | Registered: Dec 2010
anemie
♀ 37543
Member # 37543
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, making just a break from it seems better than throwing it all off the table. Sometimes I feel it gets in the way of R. I get that we have to give it time and work through all the issues but its very annoying to be having a great day and then just having thoughts of and mind movies just completely invade my freaking thoughts! I just want to feel normal again and enjoy my family.


D-Day October 18th, 2012 D-Day2 October 5th 2013
4 kids 12,11,7, 1 and one sweet little newborn

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 4

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