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libertyrocks (original poster member #38924) posted at 11:30 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
...of R. haha. It's hard work! :) Anyone else? I love my H again, but geez, if someone told me I'd be a freaking martyr when I grew up, I wouldn't have believed them. To an extent I think we all are. Martyrs for the sake of love we have for our S's, regardless of shit we're dealing with.
Things I think about while listening to everyone here and priding myself on the fact that it takes a big person to forgive.
High road.
Path less traveled.
Makes me stronger.
For love.
For me.
Forgiveness.
Compassion.
Empathy.
Understanding.
H.O.P.E.
I'm sort of ranting today. No harm intended, just trying to reach out. I still wouldn't trade my life or boys for anything. Now, the actions of my H, well, you get the picture...
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 11:40 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
For me.
That right there is what doesn't make you a martyr. 
I agree, though. It is tiring, and VERY hard work!
I love your list of things to think about. I'm going to borrow that, if you don't mind.
HeartInADustpan ( member #38341) posted at 11:54 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
You hit the nail on the head, liberty. We're pretty close dday#1 and I feel ya. Just remember "[We] can survive this...Talk to others who have.". Just keep on talking.
Hang in there.
Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 12:26 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
Hang in there! I'm hanging by a thread right now. This R rollercoaster IS tiring and some days I want to just get off.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
forgivingnow ( member #33549) posted at 2:47 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
"It takes a big person to forgive."
I love your list of positive traits, things to think about.
I'll add...
strength
integrity
passionate
Me-BS 57
FWH-57
M 37yrs.
Dday 3-19-11, TT 10/2011, Full truth July 2013
Strength comes from within. You can't get it from someone or go somewhere to get it. It is already here, waiting to be used when you need it most. Believe in yours
ItsaClimb ( member #37107) posted at 3:17 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
I know just how you feel! I wrote this post some time ago -
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=500750&AP=1
Pretty much expresses how I was feeling at the time
BS 52
Together 35 yrs, M 31 years
2 daughters 30yo(married with 2 children) & 25yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later
Schilling ( member #39774) posted at 4:22 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013
It is. I told my IC this yesterday. That I was feeling tired... drained and a little indifferent.
I am 26(Bgf). He is 36 (Wbf).
On Again, Off Again - 10 years.
Not Married. No Kids.
D-Day: Too many to list/ remember.
Trying to Reconcile.
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