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Topic: I'm So Tired...

libertyrocks
♀ 38924
Member # 38924

Posted: 5:30 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013

...of R. haha. It's hard work! :) Anyone else? I love my H again, but geez, if someone told me I'd be a freaking martyr when I grew up, I wouldn't have believed them. To an extent I think we all are. Martyrs for the sake of love we have for our S's, regardless of shit we're dealing with.

Things I think about while listening to everyone here and priding myself on the fact that it takes a big person to forgive.

High road.
Path less traveled.
Makes me stronger.
For love.
For me.
Forgiveness.
Compassion.
Empathy.
Understanding.
H.O.P.E.

I'm sort of ranting today. No harm intended, just trying to reach out. I still wouldn't trade my life or boys for anything. Now, the actions of my H, well, you get the picture...

Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)

LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369

Posted: 5:40 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013

For me.

That right there is what doesn't make you a martyr.

I agree, though. It is tiring, and VERY hard work!

I love your list of things to think about. I'm going to borrow that, if you don't mind.

Posts: 9019 | Registered: Dec 2010

HeartInADustpan
♀ 38341
Member # 38341

Posted: 5:54 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013

You hit the nail on the head, liberty. We're pretty close dday#1 and I feel ya. Just remember "[We] can survive this...Talk to others who have.". Just keep on talking.

Hang in there.

Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis

crazyblindsided
♀ 35215
Member # 35215

Posted: 6:26 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013

Hang in there! I'm hanging by a thread right now. This R rollercoaster IS tiring and some days I want to just get off.

BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08 OW1, 5/09 OW1, 3/30/12 OW2
Final Dday 7/11/14 Same OW2

Posts: 2308 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California

forgivingnow
♀ 33549
Member # 33549

Posted: 8:47 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013

"It takes a big person to forgive."

I love your list of positive traits, things to think about.

I'll add...
strength
integrity
passionate

Me-BS 51
FWH-51
M 31 yrs.
Dday 3-19-11, TT 10/2011, Full truth July 2013
Strength comes from within. You can't get it from someone or go somewhere to get it. It is already here, waiting to be used when you need it most. Believe in yourself.
R

Posts: 642 | Registered: Oct 2011

ItsaClimb
♀ 37107
Member # 37107

Posted: 9:17 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013

I know just how you feel! I wrote this post some time ago -

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=500750&AP=1

Pretty much expresses how I was feeling at the time

BS 47
Together 29 yrs, M 26 years
2 daughters 25yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 1104 | Registered: Oct 2012

Schilling
♀ 39774
Member # 39774

Posted: 10:22 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013

It is. I told my IC this yesterday. That I was feeling tired... drained and a little indifferent.

I am 26(Bgf). He is 36 (Wbf).
On Again, Off Again - 10 years.
Not Married. No Kids.
D-Day: Too many to list/ remember.
Trying to Reconcile.

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: San Francisco

Topic Posts: 7

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