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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: I want to skip dating and go right to Reltnshp
torn2bits
♀ 28376
Member # 28376
Funny  Posted: 6:55 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyboy else out there feel this way. Dating is soooo much work. I just want that person to be right there to cuddle, kiss and have good times with. Too bad I have to do the work all over again to find them, make sure they are in to me blah, blah, blah.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wouldn't that be easy to skip the dating.
I liked to date back when I was single in my 20s but now ? Not so much.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know. Dating can also be fun. The rush, the excitement, the unknown...


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15343 | Registered: Jun 2006
torn2bits
♀ 28376
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I am just feeling trapped right now because I am in year 3 of my D, its not over yet and dating "fully" is not an option for me right now.

I also miss certain parts of my marriage.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
travels
♀ 20334
Member # 20334
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Raising my hand.
I often say this. I hate to date and would much rather be through all the beginning awkwardness and in a relationship.

Oh well... guess it's not possible.


When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.

Posts: 3786 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: PA
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

b4me raises hand also!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
GrievingMommy
♀ 28127
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here! Dating is not fun anymore. It was a lot easier and fun when I was in my early 20's (and with no children that I have 98% of the time).


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
little turtle
♀ 15584
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I enjoyed dating. I didn't really get a chance to before I got married. I went from meeting people to instant relationships. I tried to focus on being in the moment and enjoy myself. Not worry about the future relationship possibility.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4247 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never was a dater. I was a hippie chick. Back then we just bumped into people and fell into bed. None of this elaborate courtship shit....


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17789 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
hurtinky
♀ 26152
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dating as a young adult was fun because it seemed like there was a waiting list of suitable dating partners. I never had to go in search of someone to date! I remember knowing who I wanted to date if the current person didn't work out!

But, this later in life dating is stupid. OLD feels more like job interviewing than dating. You don't even know these men. You are meeting people and you don't even know their last name or where they live. It's crazy. That's why I can't do it. It just feels so unnatural. I have no desire to date. If I meet someone in the normal course of my life, great. If not, that's just the way it's going to go down, because I'm not doing something that feels as crazy as OLD felt.


Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12



Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
heartbroken_kk
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 1:49 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, me too.

In fact I think I will just skip dating all together. But wait. How will I get myself another SO then? hmmmm. I guess I might have to date a little. But I'm SURE it will only take what, two or three dates to find the guy to settle down with, right?


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1254 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 1:58 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Back then we just bumped into people and fell into bed. None of this elaborate courtship shit....
I wasn't as blunt as FF but yeah that is pretty much how it was back in the day.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Newlease
♀ 7767
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember feeling exactly this way. In fact, I kept saying I wanted a partner to just show up on my doorstep without me doing any kind of work. I hated dating. But I got used to it.

The funny part is that SO did just sort of drop into my lap - but I met him in a bar. He was the one, but I didn't recognize it for a year and a half. Thank God he was patient.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7807 | Registered: Aug 2005
EvenKeel
♀ 24210
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too....I want to skip it as well!

So who is coming over to thrown their dirty socks on my floor????


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2274 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
ISPIFFD
♀ 26367
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still not at all interested in dating, but I totally feel this way about making friends.

Got the riot act read to me recently while whining to a ldbuddy about no local friends - she actually said I have TRY and be interested in people, that I can't just sit around and wait for them to magically appear at my door....

Well, crap on that!

Besides, putting myself out there, talking to people everywhere I go, joining all sorts of groups/classes/clubs and faking interest (or, hey, even being genuinely interested!) hasn't done a dang bit of good. I'm up for magic at this point.

[This message edited by ISPIFFD at 9:28 AM, August 1st (Thursday)]


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1906 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
Survivor3512
♀ 37946
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Add me to the list! Dating sucks!

Evenkeel- lol!! You killed me with the dirty socks...


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
InnerLight
♀ 19946
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never was a dater. I was a hippie chick. Back then we just bumped into people and fell into bed. None of this elaborate courtship shit....

Totally me! I was like this too when I was young. I wasn't going to do this in my 40s-50s so had to 'study' courtship. What the hell did you do if you didn't fall in bed right away and create an instant sexual bond that you later regretted???????

I had the best courtship this time around and it's still part of our dating 3 years. Getting in tune with the dance steps of dating with the right guy is what has made this relationship so much fun and enjoyable. We have really good relaxing pleasurable times when we are together.

So I feel really positive about dating now.


BS, now age 54, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years M and 20 together. In some ways I have not 'gotten over it'. But I am resilient and have created a good life where I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
torn2bits
♀ 28376
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Its just easier when they know what you like, you know what they like. Plus there that thing about being serious or not.

I have to say that you hippies had it good. I watched a movie, can't remember the name but that's exactly what they talked about. You would just meet someone have some drinks, a little grass and then go to bed together. Easy. (Without the STDs ofcourse).

Don't get me started on STDs and the unknown. Even if they tell you what they did or didn't do; there is still doubt.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't get me started on STDs and the unknown. Even if they tell you what they did or didn't do; there is still doubt.

You mean, unlike what we all experienced in our marriages?

I trust no one's sexual history. I only know if I"m monogamous.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15343 | Registered: Jun 2006
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There was a reunion of older-than-me hippies last weekend and looking at the FB pics I found myself thinking:

"The only thing I had in common with them was the clap..."

I was a latecomer but got some of the goodies....

Also had a couple of terrific long-term relationships with gorgeous boys who knew how to court a woman.

Ah, the good old days.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17789 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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