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I want to skip dating and go right to Reltnshp

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torn2bits posted 7/31/2013 18:55 PM

Anyboy else out there feel this way. Dating is soooo much work. I just want that person to be right there to cuddle, kiss and have good times with. Too bad I have to do the work all over again to find them, make sure they are in to me blah, blah, blah.

gma56 posted 7/31/2013 19:12 PM

Wouldn't that be easy to skip the dating.
I liked to date back when I was single in my 20s but now ? Not so much.

hurtbs posted 7/31/2013 19:13 PM

I don't know. Dating can also be fun. The rush, the excitement, the unknown...

torn2bits posted 7/31/2013 20:54 PM

I guess I am just feeling trapped right now because I am in year 3 of my D, its not over yet and dating "fully" is not an option for me right now.

I also miss certain parts of my marriage.

travels posted 7/31/2013 21:41 PM

Raising my hand.
I often say this. I hate to date and would much rather be through all the beginning awkwardness and in a relationship.

Oh well... guess it's not possible.

better4me posted 7/31/2013 21:46 PM

b4me raises hand also!

GrievingMommy posted 7/31/2013 21:50 PM

Same here! Dating is not fun anymore. It was a lot easier and fun when I was in my early 20's (and with no children that I have 98% of the time).

little turtle posted 7/31/2013 22:14 PM

I enjoyed dating. I didn't really get a chance to before I got married. I went from meeting people to instant relationships. I tried to focus on being in the moment and enjoy myself. Not worry about the future relationship possibility.

FaithFool posted 7/31/2013 23:52 PM

I never was a dater. I was a hippie chick. Back then we just bumped into people and fell into bed. None of this elaborate courtship shit....

hurtinky posted 7/31/2013 23:53 PM

Dating as a young adult was fun because it seemed like there was a waiting list of suitable dating partners. I never had to go in search of someone to date! I remember knowing who I wanted to date if the current person didn't work out!

But, this later in life dating is stupid. OLD feels more like job interviewing than dating. You don't even know these men. You are meeting people and you don't even know their last name or where they live. It's crazy. That's why I can't do it. It just feels so unnatural. I have no desire to date. If I meet someone in the normal course of my life, great. If not, that's just the way it's going to go down, because I'm not doing something that feels as crazy as OLD felt.

heartbroken_kk posted 8/1/2013 01:49 AM

Yeah, me too.

In fact I think I will just skip dating all together. But wait. How will I get myself another SO then? hmmmm. I guess I might have to date a little. But I'm SURE it will only take what, two or three dates to find the guy to settle down with, right?

gma56 posted 8/1/2013 01:58 AM

Back then we just bumped into people and fell into bed. None of this elaborate courtship shit....
I wasn't as blunt as FF but yeah that is pretty much how it was back in the day.

Newlease posted 8/1/2013 09:16 AM

I remember feeling exactly this way. In fact, I kept saying I wanted a partner to just show up on my doorstep without me doing any kind of work. I hated dating. But I got used to it.

The funny part is that SO did just sort of drop into my lap - but I met him in a bar. He was the one, but I didn't recognize it for a year and a half. Thank God he was patient.


EvenKeel posted 8/1/2013 09:23 AM

Me too....I want to skip it as well!

So who is coming over to thrown their dirty socks on my floor????

ISPIFFD posted 8/1/2013 09:27 AM

Still not at all interested in dating, but I totally feel this way about making friends.

Got the riot act read to me recently while whining to a ldbuddy about no local friends - she actually said I have TRY and be interested in people, that I can't just sit around and wait for them to magically appear at my door....

Well, crap on that!

Besides, putting myself out there, talking to people everywhere I go, joining all sorts of groups/classes/clubs and faking interest (or, hey, even being genuinely interested!) hasn't done a dang bit of good. I'm up for magic at this point.

[This message edited by ISPIFFD at 9:28 AM, August 1st (Thursday)]

Survivor3512 posted 8/1/2013 13:28 PM

Add me to the list! Dating sucks!

Evenkeel- lol!! You killed me with the dirty socks...

InnerLight posted 8/1/2013 15:02 PM

I never was a dater. I was a hippie chick. Back then we just bumped into people and fell into bed. None of this elaborate courtship shit....

Totally me! I was like this too when I was young. I wasn't going to do this in my 40s-50s so had to 'study' courtship. What the hell did you do if you didn't fall in bed right away and create an instant sexual bond that you later regretted???????

I had the best courtship this time around and it's still part of our dating 3 years. Getting in tune with the dance steps of dating with the right guy is what has made this relationship so much fun and enjoyable. We have really good relaxing pleasurable times when we are together.

So I feel really positive about dating now.

torn2bits posted 8/1/2013 17:09 PM

Its just easier when they know what you like, you know what they like. Plus there that thing about being serious or not.

I have to say that you hippies had it good. I watched a movie, can't remember the name but that's exactly what they talked about. You would just meet someone have some drinks, a little grass and then go to bed together. Easy. (Without the STDs ofcourse).

Don't get me started on STDs and the unknown. Even if they tell you what they did or didn't do; there is still doubt.

hurtbs posted 8/1/2013 18:47 PM

Don't get me started on STDs and the unknown. Even if they tell you what they did or didn't do; there is still doubt.

You mean, unlike what we all experienced in our marriages?

I trust no one's sexual history. I only know if I"m monogamous.

FaithFool posted 8/1/2013 19:49 PM

There was a reunion of older-than-me hippies last weekend and looking at the FB pics I found myself thinking:

"The only thing I had in common with them was the clap..."

I was a latecomer but got some of the goodies....

Also had a couple of terrific long-term relationships with gorgeous boys who knew how to court a woman.

Ah, the good old days.

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