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I screwed up again.

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JMSSC posted 7/31/2013 19:15 PM

Been a while since i have posted on here. Been doing great. Up untill this morning. For some unanswerable reason i goton my wifes facebook and posted something to one of her freinds. I can honestly say i cant remember everything i said except that i can cook. I can home this morning. Took my sleep meds then got on the computer. Thats all i remember. I have no intrest for anyone except the women i am married to. Ahe is my wife and i only have feelings for her. Just need to find out why i did this. Please help.

authenticnow posted 7/31/2013 19:19 PM

I don't know, JM. I read your W's post and it baffled me. I know Ambien does some screwy things to your brain and after I read her follow up post I was like, oooohhhh, he took Ambien.

But part of me says that doesn't cut it.

I'm glad you posted. Have you dealt with all your issues? I know things have been really good in R but I'm wondering if you're covering up anything that's going on with you to keep things running smoothly. (I don't mean cheating, I mean feelings, etc.)

Keep digging.

JMSSC posted 7/31/2013 19:46 PM

I have no wrong feelings. I feel and love her so deeply. I walk with god leading me and my family. Have no issues or troubles on my mind. Just cant get this. She is the world to me and gods gift.

authenticnow posted 7/31/2013 19:56 PM

Feelings aren't necessarily wrong or right, they just are.

Keep talking to her and keep praying, if that's what helps you.

JMSSC posted 7/31/2013 20:05 PM

Thanks so much AUTH. Will do. Will continue to bale water.

Deeply Scared posted 7/31/2013 20:12 PM

JMSSC...

We've added the stop sign to your thread so that you only get WS replies. Your wife is getting a lot of support on General and we want you to get the same fair and honest replies without having repeated posts brought in here from BS's.

I'm really proud of you for posting and asking for help...I know its hard to do, but this is a big step in helping your wife and you understand just what went wrong and why you reacted the way you did.

Keep posting and reaching out

tired girl posted 7/31/2013 20:13 PM

JM,


I can't see that a person has no concerns, no worries or no feelings. I get that you are not understanding why you did this, however if you sit there and keep telling yourself that you just have love for your wife so you just don't get why you did this, it will keep you from doing the digging to figure out why you DID. The thing here is, you did do this, and there is a reason, do you want to know that reason?

JMSSC posted 7/31/2013 20:22 PM

Tired girl. Yes i want to find out why I, me, myself did this. Any help will be much welcomed.

tired girl posted 7/31/2013 20:39 PM

First there is the question of the Ambien, how much do you remember of what happened?

Also, how are things going for you in your life? Not married life, your life.

longroadhome posted 7/31/2013 21:40 PM

Do you absolutely NEED the Ambien? If there's any chance that its bringing out these bouts of strange behavior, could you take something else for help sleeping? I know working nights is tough, I've been there so I get that the occasional sleep aid is a blessing, but at what cost. There must be another option. At least it will rule out side effects as a cause of bringing more worry to your W.

Is there any reason you chose to communicate with someone that resembles the ow? I know it will be hard to recall with the Ambien, but try. Is there any possibility that you needed a "validation boost?"

JMSSC posted 8/1/2013 03:58 AM

Tired girl and longroadhome. My life is so great now. I have finally grown up and doing what a man is supposed to do. I can only recall taking my meds and sitting down at the computer. I have no issues or needs to think about the ow. And i havent. All night tonight i kept coming back to the meds. There will be NO more sleep meds. Thats not me or where my heart is.

[This message edited by JMSSC at 4:37 AM, August 1st (Thursday)]

Aubrie posted 8/1/2013 07:56 AM

Do you have a history of doing weird stuff on Ambien or is this an isolated incident?

Think this thru in its entirety. Dig in. Make absolutely sure there is nothing going on internally JM.

[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 7:56 AM, August 1st (Thursday)]

longroadhome posted 8/1/2013 08:26 AM


Think this thru in its entirety. Dig in. Make absolutely sure there is nothing going on internally JM.

I agree with this. I think removing the meds from the equation will help. Nothing clouding the process. There may be something below the surface to examine that's surfaces when your state of mind is altered. That doesn't mean you're not working hard and doing great things to heal yourself and your M, just that the mind is a quirky and unpredictable thing sometimes.

I'm glad to hear that things are generally going well, JM.

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