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livebythesea posted 7/31/2013 20:01 PM

Yesterday was much better than Monday, but today was super! And I pray that I have more days like today than this past Monday. Not sure what took place but something clicked. I did not say a word to him, yesterday he approached me. Just a few words, and then I left. Today, same thing, he approached me, and I went about my day. Had a great day at that.

I will ride this out, get stronger and when I am ready, when I know in my heart the time is right, I will know what to do.

I have to keep "good thoughts" in my mind, think less of HIM, of what he did and think more of my life, my future.

Thanks to everyone with their honest, experienced opinions. How I wish there weren't so many of us here with broken hearts and wasted time, wasted life.

traicionada posted 7/31/2013 20:04 PM

What did he say?

livebythesea posted 7/31/2013 20:12 PM

Well, at 12:06 (night time) while he was sleeping peacefully and I was just about out of my mind, I sent him a text telling him I was moving out in the morning. I had packed all my clothes in the car and I was moving out.

Around 4 o'clock in the afternoon (next day) on my way out, he asked me where I was going, and then wanted to clarify my text. I told him then that I was not moving, and that he would have to if that is what he wanted to do. That was the extend of our conversation that day. Today, he said good morning, I replied. He asked how I was, and that is that for today. Oh ya, for the pat 2 days he was sleeping in the spare bedroom, tonight he is sleeping in his bed (our bed). He is sleeping now. He is scared shitless that I tell him it is over. I have been too forgiving, too loving, just too much of everything too quick. It is suddenly clicking in today.

doesitgetbetter posted 7/31/2013 20:17 PM

Soooo, it's a great day because you rolled over and went back on your demand for the second time this week and he's now sleeping soundly in your bed and not dealing with any more unpleasantness. Awesome. So what makes you think anything will change when you keep flip flopping on your demands to him and nothing ever gets resolved? And how exactly is this better?

outtanowhere posted 7/31/2013 20:23 PM

I've been following your posts because you & I have been married about the same length of time. I just had to tell you I'm so proud of you for opening your eyes to the power you actually hold in this relationship! The pendulum is swinging in the opposite direction & YOU have the momentum! You finally get that he has mistaken your kindness for weakness & has used that to manipulate you all in the name of saving your marriage. The time has come to say enough! You are getting stronger! I don't know you but, I see the strength building in you! Stop letting this man make you crazy & take control! He won't see it coming!

livebythesea posted 7/31/2013 20:23 PM

It's better cause I feel stronger, I am smiling today, and my mind is clearer. I truly appreciate your opinion, and you are right. I could not move out. I just could not, I did tell him to move out though. I knew he would not. It is a merry go round, and someday it will stop. I just cannot keep on like this. But my time is not here yet, I am not ready to leave, nor is he. Time will unfold our lives ...

traicionada posted 7/31/2013 21:57 PM

XH moved out 1 day after I found out but he never filed for divorce. I spent 2 years in limbo until I was strong enough to set myself free. Sending lots of strength and peace

k9lover1 posted 8/1/2013 07:21 AM

We all have to move at the pace that is comfortable for us. I truly believe that you will know when the time comes. Just don't settle. Always move towards a better life.

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/1/2013 08:44 AM

I know some of your story but not all of it. I am not sure what has been going on recently.

Is he NC with OW?

I don't have much advice and I am no expert at all of this yet, but I do need to say this, don't tell him you're going to do something unless you are absolutely going to do it.

Hugs to you. I hope you have many more wonderful days!

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