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WS keeps trying to mess with my mind

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tennispro posted 7/31/2013 21:13 PM

All I asked for was a D since he still has his A in the country he frequents for work. WS just messes with my mind -- says he and I could never work out, our marriage was bad before his A (he's right, it was -- but I believe we could have worked on it if he wasn't afraid of MC and confrontation). Anyway, then there are days like today when I tell him we HAVE to move on with our lives b/c he has someone and I deserve to meet someone too. I deserve NOT to be lonely and the kids deserve to live in reality and not this fake world of a pseudo happy family. Now all the sudden WH is like "love you", "I don't text her", etc. Seriously asshole, I want out!!
I was advised not to be the one to pull the trigger and I am abiding by the advice I was given.
I'll take that advice for another 6 weeks and then will consult with my attorney about moving forward.
Thanks for being here for me.
Best to all!

Phoenix1 posted 7/31/2013 21:27 PM

Why were you advised not to pull the trigger first? If you are going to file for fault you NEED to file first. If you are going for no fault, it usually doesn't matter who files first so why put yourself through more emotional pain by waiting if you are ready to get out?

Take2 posted 7/31/2013 21:48 PM

Yeah, my WH tried to keep me on a seesaw too. I was advised not to pull the trigger - for financial reasons.

It isn't an easy way to go emotionally! In my case we were S, so it was tolerable.

The only saving grace in my scenario was a friend who constantly reminded me that the pain wouldn't stop just because I filed, or on the day of the D, and that I had to - not only herd the ducks - but first I had to find some ducks to herd!

Keep in mind that the back and forth - is not evidence of R. It is likely evidence of trouble in lala land, or a WS who only wants what they can't have. Neither is an appealing situation. It is likely he isn't trying to mess with your mind - but evidence as to how messed up his mind is.

Nature_Girl posted 8/1/2013 03:01 AM

Filing first had major strategic advantages in my case. I'm glad I did it.

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