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Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

User Topic: Oh, the hypocrisy that spews from the mouth of a douche
suckstobeme
♀ 30853
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im not on FB and don't look at anything. However, a friend of mine saw a post on exWHs FB that made my jaw drop.

Suffice to say he posted something related to a certain married public figure and a sex scandal.

The post had something to do with how humiliated the wife must be in light of her husbands behavior.

Um .... Huh?

Douche must be losing the one marble he had left since he apparently failed to notice that he pretty much did the same damn thing, and my humiliation didn't matter one bit to him. Yes, I know, my humiliation did not go viral. However, we work in the same circles and I had to hear about the A from someone over in his office. I had to hear about all of their "long lunches" and their happy hours together. Meanwhile, his whole office knows while I'm running around like a dummy picking up kids, cooking dinner, and thinking my marriage is safe.

I would have paid a million dollars for someone to reply, "geez, yeah. It's almost as bad as when your wife finds out you've been fucking your own secretary."

It must be nice to look into all those glitter covered mirrors in the land of fairies and rainbows.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2881 | Registered: Jan 2011
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Isn't it amazing how easily they wear the mantle of "good guy/gal" and look at others' similar behavior and think, "How ghastly!" Just because they aren't on the front cover of every newspaper, they think that what they did either wasn't that bad or doesn't even exist. I get that sense from XWH-- now that he's married the OW, it's like the past has been washed away, and he hasn't done anything wrong.

I need one of those magic mirrors. How nice it must be to look into one and not have to see your true nature glaring back at you!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3644 | Registered: Oct 2011
devistatedmom
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A few months after our split, my xh came to get the kids and took me aside to tell me how offended he was that one of my BIL's actually had the audacity to sleep with someone other than his sister! I just kept looking at him, and he finally says, what? I said, you DO realize thats EXACTLY what you did to me, right? He didn't think it was and was quite insulted that I thought so.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5587 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My question is was he being judgemental in the FB post or was he just stating how humiliating it must be for the wife?

If its the later I wouldn't put it past a drama llama to have posted something inflammatory like that to yank your chain - his vindictive self or his vindictive OW.

NC = No New Hurts. Tell your friends you don't want to hear this shit. You already know more than you need to know. Any more stuff is just going to keep that vulture circling around you.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5658 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
SeanFLA
♂ 32380
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not an easy feat, but you need to strive for indifference. He's living the new life he has chosen and isn't the same man you once married. Sooner or later to fully begin moving on from him you have to just let those things bounce off of you and say "whatever".

I was asked last evening if my exWW was dating or not. I was very firm and clear with that person, looked them straight in the eye with a stern voice and said "Don't know, don't care...unless it conflicts with the safe well being of my son".

They got my point and I doubt they will bring up the topic again. I hate when people ask that. It's rude and it's like they are fishing for gossip.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1472 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
hoya96
♀ 28851
Member # 28851
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get that sense from XWH-- now that he's married the OW, it's like the past has been washed away, and he hasn't done anything wrong.

My ex actually told me that, while he understands I might be "upset" at how their "relationship began", now that they're married, I need to get over it and stop thinking of her as the affair partner and instead his wife and my children's stepmother.

Um. Okay.


Me: 40 and fabulous!
3 children ages 10, 12 and 14
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

Posts: 329 | Registered: Jun 2010
suckstobeme
♀ 30853
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know - I am definitely striving for indifference. I try my best and quite honestly, the post didn't consume my thoughts like it once would have even a year ago. It's just that I guess I will never truly understand the craziness of it all. I'm an analytical person so its difficult when something is so wacky or outside the box and I simply can't grasp it.

I have to just learn to tell myself that there is no sense in this or him. None. There are times in life where we just never get a good enough answer for why. I need to accept that. He's certainly not the man I married and has morphed into someone I wouldn't even have coffee with, let alone marry. It's a process and I try.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2881 | Registered: Jan 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have paid a million dollars for someone to reply, "geez, yeah. It's almost as bad as when your wife finds out you've been fucking your own secretary."

Don't you have a friend who would post just such a thing?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10026 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's certainly not the man I married and has morphed into someone I wouldn't even have coffee with, let alone marry.
I love this!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3491 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Snapdragon
♀ 4286
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hahahaha! My (now)ex was dogging on a certain politician and his antics with infidelity that was hugely in the news. He was judging him very harshly. Later I found out he was cheating on me at the same time.

This bothered me for a long time. But then I realized what he was REALLY saying. He was really feeling that the guy was an idiot for 1. getting caught, 2. risking a high position of respect.

His reaction to the politician's infidelity had NOTHING to do with the man's morals, values, or how the wife and family would be devastated, humiliated, and gut-ripped. I read a lot into my ex's comments. But looking back, he never actually criticized for the actual infidelity. I completely missed that at the time!!


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3090 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the thread title reads like poetry!!

stbm, if you finish the lyric, let me know ok?


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5910 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Walking
♀ 40102
Member # 40102
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Prior to our DDay my WS was defending one of his sisters who is being left by her husband for another woman, when I pointed it out to him he said it was different....2 long term marriages with kids shredded by cheating louse husbands.....yeah, not so different....

Posts: 57 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 12

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