My D-Day was 12/9/12. It is still the worst day of my life. I knew something was up but I did not know that he was having an affair.
It is 8 months, some things have improved, he is making steps forward but it's not perfect, my rage is not as bad as it once was, but I am still angry. The rage, the anger, the hurt is unbearable at times. It must be grief, the loss of my old life my old understanding, the loss of trust the loss of who I thought he was. I thought and always said he was a great man...now I feel like a fake saying it.
My husband works with the OW in a different department but they absolutely can cross paths, they can "see" each other if they desire. People that work with them have told me that they "saw the sparks" and knew something was up between the two of them. She is known to get around and flirt, my husband was not that person. He looked at other women but I never saw him flirt. When I see him look at pretty women now I become mad, so angry I just want to jump on the woman and hit her so hard. I feel ugly, unloved, unwanted, the more angry I become the more I push my husband away. It gets better and then it washes in like a tide that won't recede. I want to stop being angry with him, with myself, and her. Even though I really do hate her, I cannot hate my husband I have always loved him. But I am angry, my husband calls it Rage at times and I cannot control it. Help!!!
[This message edited by JustHurting10 at 9:37 AM, August 1st (Thursday)]