Well I did it. I FINALLY told him that I can't have contact with him. I wasn't mean about it. After I had done it I felt sad. For about three weeks he had been sending me cute videos and pictures he knew I would like. I didn't want to break contact with him but his contact was keeping me stuck and I really need to move on from him. It was causing me a great deal of anxiety. I would be waiting for him to contact. I would wonder why when he hadn't. Then when he did, for a while at least it was a relief, I could finally relax because he has messaged me. Then of course it just went on and on like that, around in circles.
When I told him that I needed space (maybe not the right word to use but it was all I could manage despite my friends telling me to just tell him to F off and ignore him) he replied saying, "I'm sorry :( take care piglet", URGHHH!
I know what NC is. I know it is meant for healing and this is what I am desperate to do now. But I would like to know how it works? What can I expect from this?
Today my head has been in a bit of a spin. I kinda regret telling him that but I know I needed to otherwise this will just go on forever and I can't take anymore. I haven't seem him now in a while so that part should be easy at least. It's the contact that is hard to do without even if it really is superficial stuff. I believe he is NPD and I know that those relationships can be addictive and I realise that I am probably addicted to contact from him.
How long until it gets easier? I want to get to a place where I really no longer care about him, what he's doing etc. I want to get to a place where I don't care if I never see or hear from him again but in the same way, I'm scared of moving on from it and feeling nothing for him.
As hard as it is, I hope this time he respects my wishes for NC and will leave me alone so that I can get past this.
What have been your experiences with NC? How long has it taken you to start to get over it and feel better.
So far, he hasn't contacted me today so I guess this is DAY 1 NC. I am pretty sure I will be able to resist contacting him, I have always been good at that, it's just that I know it's going to drive me insane when he doesn't even tough it is my request, and not responding has always been a weakness of mine, because I find it hard to ignore people.