How do you all cope with the physical side of things? All I can see when I look at my h is him touching her. It's tearing me apart day by day and I don't know how much longer I can hang in there.
It was an EA before, two kisses and later a fumbled ons. He swears he didn't fancy her and it was just attention he wanted but how can you touch someone like that, so intimately, if you don't fancy them?????
I would be physically sick if a man I didn't fancy wanted me to masturbate him. I just could not do it. So how could he????
He says it's cos he led her on and he couldn't humiliate her when she drove him to a car park, lifted her skirt and invited him to feel her 'sexy knickers'
He says he did the bare minimum expected of him. That they didn't kiss, she never touched him once and that he just rubbed her, but that turned to masturbation for a few minutes when her skimpy underwear moved and he touched skin. Then they got in the back had sex for about 3 seconds THEN he decided to stop. No protection which kills me too. We have been screened for std and are clear apart from thrush btw.
My point is how could he have touched her so intimately without feeling sick if he loved me and didn't want to do it. He says it wasn't pleasant but wasn't repulsive either. I don't get it??? Is it a difference between the sexes or am I getting load of bs from him? I just don't know. HE tried saying just now that he was repulsed and I called him on it as a lie. He is desperately trying to find a way to word it that I can accept but I know what happened and surely that could not happen without him at least fancying her??
Also I am really stuck on wanting to make her pay. They work at adjacent desks and h has applied for loads of jobs to get away from her. He is laughing at her right now cos she has moved onto another guy at work and he can see the shot he fell for, he thinks she is pathetic. But she has got away with it - I even did her nails for free!!!
Help! When does she suffer eh! She just bounces from man to man with out a thought of the pain she causes. I sent her a few ugly texts at first before I knew it all and she had the gall to say I was paranoid and had issues then later that it was a mistake she wanted to forget and she hoped we would move on from it wtf!!!! I hate her. Why do I have to suffer everyday when she is laughing and living it up.
Sooooo angry today.
[This message edited by olwen at 11:26 AM, August 1st (Thursday)]