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Newest Member: Tigress5455 (45753)

User Topic: Glimmer of hope
confused777
♀ 39629
Member # 39629
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So he told me last night he will call the counselor and we will go to marriage counseling. I do know about false recovery and so I am 1% optimistic.

One of the things I said 2 nights ago to him was, what would you do if our roles were reversed. He didn't answer me but I hope it got his mind churning.

I am feeling stronger and seeing my power. Now I can see if this is what I want.

Btw, he deleted all the content off his swinger profile but he couldn't figure how to delete the account. The certain are there but his pictures are gone.


Choices are easy to make, even the most difficult of choices are made in the span of a heart beat. It is coming to terms with the results of these choices which can take a very long time indeed.

In limbo

At least this fence is mine to own and


Posts: 38 | Registered: Jun 2013
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Words are words.

Watch his actions.

((((Confused7)))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7916 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
TxsT
♀ 39996
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actions do speak louder then words....the biggest thing though is that you will get help. Through that help, and through MC you will slowly figure out if he is worth it or not.

You have taken a great step forward. Listen to your heart. It is hurt but it is not damaged so much that it doesn't know right from wrong.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This man needs IC..a lot of IC before going to MC. Going to MC with an unremorseful WS is a BAD idea.

But if you go through with it...then you need to interview the MC alone. Ask her what her view is on infidelity. Ask her how she will treat the two of you. Ask her,in the aftermath of infidelity,what approach she suggests.

MANY MC's are not qualified to counsel couples dealing with infidelity. They encourage rugsweeping or blame the marriage or the BS for the affair. If you get an MC like this..your WH will latch on to it like a baby with a bottle. It will be next to impossible for you to ever get him to understand the depth of his betrayal.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7916 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
TxsT
♀ 39996
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good point Confused. We did interview our MC extensively, even though we had already figured out we were going to go forward together.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
Topic Posts: 5

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