He got another woman pregnant, put me at risk of STD/death, shattered our family, broke my heart, destroyed my belief in 'true love'. Now I just feel like he's not entitled to get mad at me EVER for ANYTHING.
How much do you want to stay with this person? My answer would depend on your feelings.
Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!
Now I just feel like he's not entitled to get mad at me EVER for ANYTHING.
I still feel like this and I am 17 months out from DDay.
Your WH should be doing EVERYTHING and ANYTHING to help you feel safe and loved by him. If he is getting angry because the situation makes him uncomfortable well that's just tough sh*t.
You are only 3 months out from DDay with an OC in the picture, please give yourself time. I am still grieving and cycling through all the stages. If you want to work on the M then give yourself time.
Your WH, while he's entitled to be angry about mundane life he is NOT entitled to be angry at YOU for HIS A.
His cheating does not give you license to act like a bitch--just for sport.
OTOH, he canNOT expect you to be SusieSunshine right now.
eta: can you give an example?
[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 6:29 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Unfortunately we still live 2 doors down from the ow so the memories are always there. So NO NO NO NO......after all the shit h did and the 2 years of fatal attraction the ow put me through - well I guess it's a fair bet to say that h is most definitely not EVER entitled to get mad a me for anything, EVER. He does give it his best shot when the a comes up, tries as hard as he can to get mad and defensive but it frazzles out very quickly when I just look right through him.
[This message edited by TICKED OFF at 7:16 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]
Objectively, your WH does have a lot to be depressed about. He's blown up his life with you. He had an A that resulted in a child with someone other than his wife. That's fucked up.
But if I were in your situation, I would have very little patience with him and I wouldn't be very understanding of him sitting on the pity pot. It sounds as if you are really trying to be understanding and whatnot and that he may be taking that as a license to play *boo-hoo poor me*.
He needs to be accountable and responsible in this situation and not act as if *he's* the victim.
I felt like I had done something wrong.
One of the reasons that I'm pointing this out is because an IC that I saw a few years ago pinpointed my not-right feelings of *guilt*. Anytime that stbx had an issue....he would *guilt* me. Even if the issue had very little (or nothing) to do with me. Somehow stbx felt the *victim* and I was supposed to be the savior....and if it didn't work out that way? Well, then *I* was the bad guy. Most of what I remember about this IC is him saying "you seem to feel guilty about this. Why?" Once I realized my answer was "because I feel like I'm *supposed* to feel that way* and that the situation didn't require ANYthing from me at all (in the *real* world of *normal* people that aren't abusive jackasses)......I was able to start having a healthy idea of what is HIS to own and what is MINE to own.
[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 9:17 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]