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LadyQ posted 8/1/2013 19:08 PM

I'm tired. I'm tired of truck trouble. I'm tired of broken garbage disposals, thermostats and stopped up sinks. I'm tired of having to see the disappointment and sadness in my children's eyes. I'm tired of taking the high road and not saying shitty things about their dad. I'm tired of only being able to say "I'm sorry" when their dickhead father treats them bad instead of telling them how he really is. I'm tired of being alone and lonely. I'm tired of his life going on like I never happened. Like I never mattered. I'm just freakin tired.

caregiver9000 posted 8/1/2013 19:11 PM

(((hugs)))

My first two thoughts were both out of movies.

"The sun'll come out tomorrow."

and "After all, tomorrow is another day."

I am not usually a walking movie line generator...

I understand LadyQ. It will get better. Then you can look back at how masterfully you handled this time and feel empowered and kick ass fabulous!

abigailadams posted 8/1/2013 20:46 PM

(((LadyQ)))

You are tired for good reasons. You are holding up the world for your children. You are doing a great job!

I too want to tell my DD what an asshole her father is and that it isn't her or even me, its him. But one of my very good friends when this whole shit storm started told me that the worst part of his parents divorce was them badmouthing each other. Every time I want to open my mouth and say something bad about stbx, I hear my friend and I stop. I save it for my IC, my mother, one or two really close friends.

Sparkles posted 8/1/2013 21:20 PM

(((LadyQ)))

I'm with you. Tired of doing everything, all the time. No break from the kids or any other responsibility. Sometimes when I really want to tell him what I think and I can't, I write it all in an email and send it off to one of my friends.

The "high" road feels pretty steep sometimes.

[This message edited by Sparkles at 9:20 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]

Coraline posted 8/1/2013 21:22 PM

I'm so, so sorry. ((LadyQ))

Griefstricken25 posted 8/1/2013 21:23 PM

((((LadyQ))))

It's such a hard place to be and I know what you're feeling. You are an amazing mama and your kids know it.

Tomorrow is a new day. It sounds cliche, but sometimes it amazes me how a new day can bring fresh hope and perspective.

dmari posted 8/1/2013 22:58 PM

Oh LadyQ ~ wish I could give you a real hug and take you out to coffee. I am so sorry you are rightfully tired. Exhausted. Spent. YOU MATTER. Say it over and over again. YOU MATTER. I pray that tomorrow is a brighter day.

wannabenormal posted 8/1/2013 23:25 PM

I think most of us solely single/or mostly single "main" parents feel this way at one point or another.

It IS exhausting and it's damn for sure not any easier when the walk-away parent's life seems easy-breezy. I swear sometimes I have a black cloud hovering over me while XH and wifetress travel through life sliding on rainbows and riding unicorns, ya know?! Like W.T.F.?! LOL!

But I do try to take it all one step at a time. I do realize life isn't truly bad and the hiccups I encounter are actually usually kinda funny...BUT it's still hard sometimes when it seems like easy street for others. I get that.

I do know the high road is the right path, even though it's often the hardest, loneliest and least fun one to take...but in 'the end'...you'll be happy you did it.

Nature_Girl posted 8/1/2013 23:49 PM

Me too, Honey. ((((HUGS))))

It all just sucks and is so unfair.

katiesmom posted 8/2/2013 10:47 AM

(((LadyQ)))
So am I. It will get better someday. It has to, right?

laney57 posted 8/2/2013 11:52 AM

Big hugs coming your way LadyQ... You will reap the benefits, we all will.

MyReturn2Me posted 8/2/2013 23:36 PM

(((BIG HUGS)))

My therapist told me, just yesterday, that this was normal and it will pass.

I'm tired right along with you.

tryingagain74 posted 8/2/2013 23:44 PM

I'm tired too. Parallel parenting with a selfish manchild is exhausting.

(((LadyQ)))

tesla posted 8/3/2013 08:33 AM

Me too. Tired of doing the jobs of 2 people. Tired of dealing with ex-shat's extreme idiocy.
Sigh.
We all need a spa day.
((((LadyQ))))

Bluebird26 posted 8/4/2013 02:10 AM

I'm tired too. Parallel parenting with a selfish manchild is exhausting.

Exactly that.

peridot posted 8/4/2013 02:22 AM

I hear you! I get that way sometimes. It's been even harder now that I never get a break. I'm mom and dad now.

missmydogs posted 8/4/2013 23:25 PM

Me too. Hugs.

LadyQ posted 8/5/2013 12:55 PM

Thanks so much for the support. I feel better was just having one of those days ( more like weeks).

I'm gonna make it! At least those down moments are getting fewer and farther apart...

Big hugs to all of us who are struggling...