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Divorce/Separation :
I'm tired

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 LadyQ (original poster member #32847) posted at 1:08 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

I'm tired. I'm tired of truck trouble. I'm tired of broken garbage disposals, thermostats and stopped up sinks. I'm tired of having to see the disappointment and sadness in my children's eyes. I'm tired of taking the high road and not saying shitty things about their dad. I'm tired of only being able to say "I'm sorry" when their dickhead father treats them bad instead of telling them how he really is. I'm tired of being alone and lonely. I'm tired of his life going on like I never happened. Like I never mattered. I'm just freakin tired.

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

posts: 1650   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2011
id 6431259
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 1:11 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

(((hugs)))

My first two thoughts were both out of movies.

"The sun'll come out tomorrow."

and "After all, tomorrow is another day."

I am not usually a walking movie line generator...

I understand LadyQ. It will get better. Then you can look back at how masterfully you handled this time and feel empowered and kick ass fabulous!

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6431262
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abigailadams ( member #37556) posted at 2:46 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

(((LadyQ)))

You are tired for good reasons. You are holding up the world for your children. You are doing a great job!

I too want to tell my DD what an asshole her father is and that it isn't her or even me, its him. But one of my very good friends when this whole shit storm started told me that the worst part of his parents divorce was them badmouthing each other. Every time I want to open my mouth and say something bad about stbx, I hear my friend and I stop. I save it for my IC, my mother, one or two really close friends.

Me BS 55
Him WS 53
Married 10 years together 13
DDay October 11, 2012

posts: 134   ·   registered: Nov. 20th, 2012   ·   location: Brooklyn, NY
id 6431382
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Sparkles ( member #39901) posted at 3:20 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

(((LadyQ)))

I'm with you. Tired of doing everything, all the time. No break from the kids or any other responsibility. Sometimes when I really want to tell him what I think and I can't, I write it all in an email and send it off to one of my friends.

The "high" road feels pretty steep sometimes.

[This message edited by Sparkles at 9:20 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]

posts: 138   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: NW
id 6431441
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Coraline ( member #36434) posted at 3:22 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

I'm so, so sorry. ((LadyQ))

Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

posts: 771   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2012
id 6431445
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Griefstricken25 ( member #29183) posted at 3:23 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

((((LadyQ))))

It's such a hard place to be and I know what you're feeling. You are an amazing mama and your kids know it.

Tomorrow is a new day. It sounds cliche, but sometimes it amazes me how a new day can bring fresh hope and perspective.

Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

posts: 2596   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2010   ·   location: A better place
id 6431447
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 4:58 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

Oh LadyQ ~ wish I could give you a real hug and take you out to coffee. I am so sorry you are rightfully tired. Exhausted. Spent. YOU MATTER. Say it over and over again. YOU MATTER. I pray that tomorrow is a brighter day.

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6431551
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wannabenormal ( member #19772) posted at 5:25 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

I think most of us solely single/or mostly single "main" parents feel this way at one point or another.

It IS exhausting and it's damn for sure not any easier when the walk-away parent's life seems easy-breezy. I swear sometimes I have a black cloud hovering over me while XH and wifetress travel through life sliding on rainbows and riding unicorns, ya know?! Like W.T.F.?! LOL!

But I do try to take it all one step at a time. I do realize life isn't truly bad and the hiccups I encounter are actually usually kinda funny...BUT it's still hard sometimes when it seems like easy street for others. I get that.

I do know the high road is the right path, even though it's often the hardest, loneliest and least fun one to take...but in 'the end'...you'll be happy you did it.



posts: 15096   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2008
id 6431578
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 5:49 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

Me too, Honey. ((((HUGS))))

It all just sucks and is so unfair.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6431601
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katiesmom ( member #39074) posted at 4:47 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

(((LadyQ)))

So am I. It will get better someday. It has to, right?

posts: 84   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Kentucky
id 6432098
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laney57 ( member #35617) posted at 5:52 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

Big hugs coming your way LadyQ... You will reap the benefits, we all will.

Update 01/21/17
Me - BS, 46
Him - WH, 48
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Separated 03/2014 (he moved out of state for job)
Tried and tried and failed long distance 09/2015
Have no idea

posts: 236   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2012   ·   location: KY
id 6432206
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MyReturn2Me ( member #34352) posted at 5:36 AM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

(((BIG HUGS)))

My therapist told me, just yesterday, that this was normal and it will pass.

I'm tired right along with you.

Me: BS 51 and Freaking AWESOME!
Him: Who the fuck cares........

posts: 259   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: Puget Sound
id 6433044
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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 5:44 AM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

I'm tired too. Parallel parenting with a selfish manchild is exhausting.

(((LadyQ)))

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 6433050
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 2:33 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

Me too. Tired of doing the jobs of 2 people. Tired of dealing with ex-shat's extreme idiocy.

Sigh.

We all need a spa day.

((((LadyQ))))

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6433246
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Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 8:10 AM on Sunday, August 4th, 2013

I'm tired too. Parallel parenting with a selfish manchild is exhausting.

.

Exactly that.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6433956
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 8:22 AM on Sunday, August 4th, 2013

I hear you! I get that way sometimes. It's been even harder now that I never get a break. I'm mom and dad now.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6433961
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missmydogs ( member #36559) posted at 5:25 AM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Me too. Hugs.

Me 36
DS 16
DD 4

Divorced!

I've made a huge mistake - GOB

posts: 71   ·   registered: Aug. 20th, 2012   ·   location: missmydogs
id 6434897
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 LadyQ (original poster member #32847) posted at 6:55 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Thanks so much for the support. I feel better was just having one of those days ( more like weeks).

I'm gonna make it! At least those down moments are getting fewer and farther apart...

Big hugs to all of us who are struggling...

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

posts: 1650   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2011
id 6435412
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